Bring the Rain

If you are reading this blog then you should be able to hear the music playing in the background. Music has always been an important part of our lives. It was easy to choose the music for Jeremy's funeral service. The songs we chose were so symbolic to us. This is another song that has such meaning to us and we wanted to share the lyrics with all of you.


Bring the Rain - Mercy Me

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain

Losing Jeremy feels like we are trapped in the worst storm of our lives. Yet, in the darkest hours, we KNOW this is the journey that God has chosen for us and we trust him. Don't get me wrong we cry, we scream, and we feel empty inside too. We are also faithful servants and we feel comforted by the fact that Jeremy was chosen to do so many miracles here on earth and we couldn't be more honored and proud to be his parents. So in a sense. . . we will walk in the rain if it brings HIM glory.

We will faithfully walk in the rain. God never promised it would be easy, he did promise to walk with me every step of the way. This week surely hasn't been easy. We have tried our best to just make sense of the things that we have been unable to do for the last few months. Needless to say we have had a lot of catching up to do. We have struggled with the "everyday" tasks without our precious son, Jeremy. There were times that I often thought, Oh Jeremy is still sleeping in the crib. There was panic as I thought that I had forgotten him in the car or just plain and simple couldn't find him. Each and every time that happens, it is like reliving the pain of him dying all over again. I guess someday my heart and my head will synchronize. Lots of people say that time heals the pain in your heart. A friend gave me a book at the Funeral Home called Comfort by Ann Hood. She describes this phenonmenon much better I think. She writes " Our loss still filled our home, every corner of it. It still filled us. Time doesn't heal, I had learned, it just keeps moving. And it takes us with it." I just can't imagine myself ever not feeling this emptiness in my soul. Tme is taking us with it. We have three other beautiful children. They deserve a happy childhood so we CHOOSE to get up out of bed, we CHOOSE to find happiness each day, we CHOOSE to live on knowing we will see our son again, and we CHOOSE to honor his memory.

I signed a Graduation card this weekend. It was the first time since Jeremy has died that I signed our family's names at the bottom. It pained me to write all of names, Scott, Amy, Trevor, Meredith, and Nolan. What about Jeremy??? I feel like I was leaving him out. I feel an emptiness within my soul that no words can describe. I sat in church and wished that I could just see a glimmer of Jeremy resting in the arms of Jesus in heaven. I just wanted to "see" that he was okay, just like any other mom. Then I realized, I NEED to have faith in what I cannot see.

Thanks for reading and thanks for your continued prayers.

Amy