Halloween 2010

Couldn't let the evening come to an end without a picture of the kids in their costumes. Please meet Luke Skywalker, Kit Kitteridge, and Sully posing beneath the blue ribbon since Jeremy is and always will be a part of who we all are today. It was one of the small and subtle ways to incorporate Jeremy into our special and festive day.

This year wasn't as bad as years gone by, but there were still quite a few moments that managed to take my breath away today. I guess I've grown to accept that it will be this way...

Well lots to do tonight to get ready for another busy week so I'll sign off for now. When I get stuff done, I'm planning to raid the bags of Halloween candy!

Chasing the Germies Away

What a week. The germies have infected our house and have robbed us of our sleep, they have raised our anxieties, and have wreaked havoc on our regular routine. However, I refuse to give in totally and miss out on ALL of the fun of the season. Here is a sneak peek of our Sully who is oh so cute but under the weather!

We made these this week. I was inspired by some of the fall decor at the shops at the beach while we were on vacation. They have made a joyful and sparkly decor to our kitchen table centerpiece. My house will surely sparkle for months as I am still finding glitter everywhere! My oh, oh my, how little ones love glitter!


Thanks to a little extra cooperation and good ole fashioned flexibility as well as a little extra love and support from grandparents and good friends, we still managed to meet all deadlines at school and the olders still made it to all extra curricular activities. They also had fun with Christian Heroes Day at school and even attended a fun after school Christian Heroes party . It is my pleasure to introduce you to Mary and King Josiah.


Despite the hours of cuddling on the couch ( I wouldn't have it any other way!) we were also blessed to have a few good dinners this week. This is solely in thanks to our meal swap group. I was able to whip those dinners right out of the freezer and throw them into a crock pot and six to eight hours later, Voila, dinner was served as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening in our house. We dined on Spiced Pork Roast, Chicken Teriyaki, Pumpkin soup, and Creamy Chicken with Wild Rice soup. Have you thought about being a part of a meal swap group after reading some of the posts on my blog? Well consider this yet another advantage, when life gets crazy, and unpredictably so, the meals in the freezer help to make dinner easy and nourish bodies that are tired and fighting germies away. One group of my friends began a new swap this week and I've already heard how well it went and how excited they are to keep it going! Yeah! Another group may be forming in my sister's hometown too. Wahoo!

Whew...after all that, Mom turned into a ZOMBIE last night, but hey, that was expected.

Here's a peek of our lunch before it was baked today. Sorry I am so tired that I forgot to take a picture of the pizzas after they were baked. One pizza has my hand drawn images of ghosts, bats, and the word Boo cut out from Mozzarella cheese slices. The other pizza is whole wheat and has the leftover cheese, pesto(leftover from meal swap meal) and pizza sauce. MMMmmm!



I'm looking forward to making the best of the rest of our weekend. We rented a few Halloween themed movies, checked out some Halloween books from the library,perhaps make an appearance at another party and will hunker down at the eleventh hour to finally carve our Jack-O-Lanterns. We will hope that the germies leave us once and for all this weekend and that life will resume it's normal craziness next week.

Thanks for reading.

Meal Swapping October

Well folks. In case there anyone out there wondering what my recipe was this month for our meal swap, I made a rerun from last year. It would seem as though other families enjoyed my messed up version of Turkey Cranberry Meatloaf, so I made it again this year.

Did you miss it last time?

Here it is again. http://findingsunshineagain.blogspot.com/2009/12/one-little-coupon.html
My mistake... well, I added the whole box of stuffing. It has been a hit in our house ever since. I think I will always make it using the modified version from here on out.

I really can't say enough positive things about this swap. Dinner is still good many nights of our very busy weeks thanks to my friends.

Just took out some Teriyaki Chicken from the freezer stash of meals for tomorrow's dinner. I think it might pair well with some fresh broccoli from the market. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Nature's Confetti

I was able to take advantage of some quiet time in the woods today. There has been a lot of busyness in my life lately. I was presented with a choice to stay busy or to take a moment to pause and enjoy a fleeting moment of peace. I chose to find some sunshine and soak in the peace this afternoon. I think I chose wisely.

There is so much pain and suffering in this world. As I stand in the midst of my own pain, facing daily the death of my own child, it certainly causes me to see and react to the pain and suffering of others differently. There have been a number of people facing some pretty tough things in the last week or so. Having traveled on this road for some time now, one might think they know a thing or two about this suffering that so many experience in this world. Sadly, I do not. I am unable to offer any words of wisdom on how to explain it. I have learned it can only be approached with much love. Love others? Well, I can surely do that. I can love from trenches of life that I did not ever think I would experience. I pray daily to find the strength to not ask WHY? but HOW? How can I use this pain? Lord how can I use this pain to bring glory to Your name? Some days this is the pain that will pull you under if you let it. This is the pain that waits to pounce on you each morning as you crawl out of bed, before your cup of coffee, before you have had a chance to make sense of the morning light. This is also the very pain that makes you stop and see the world in a different light, which in my view, has been a gift.

This morning, I'll admit, I was allowing the pain to win. Was it weakness? Yep. Sleep deprivation? Yep. The time of year? Yep. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Yep, that too. This morning the pain allowed me to remember all four of my children in car seats awaiting the arrival time of preschool under the fall trees in the school driveway. I saw the same beautiful trees, the same seats, the same school, only this time there are only three children. There really are four, I just can't see one. The tears were flowing all the way home and my heart was aching. The enemy wanted nothing more than for me to reside in the pain and spend all day trying to figure out how it was that I arrived at this point in my life having given birth to four children but only seeing three grow and develop on earth.

I arrived back home was determined not to crawl back into bed. I put one foot in front of the other, took a deep breath, and decided that I wasn't going to sit back and LET it win today. I set out to FIND SUNSHINE and I did. It's always nice to share sunshine when you find it in the world.

It was a beautiful fall day today. I was running errands this afternoon when a small detour entered my life. There was construction on a road I was traveling on and I was forced to take in the fall sights all around me while I waited for the traffic to flow again. There was a strong nudging to breathe it all in, so I did. My...Oh my...did I breathe in a breath of peace. The splendor of fall colors was magnificent! I was hooked. I took every back road I could think of to get to my eventual destination. I had time to play with, for once in my life...In the end, I think I used my time very wisely!

The smell in the woods was full of fall aromas like the leaves and mums in full bloom. How often do we stop to appreciate the little things in life? I feel corny sometimes, but really, there is pure and simple joy found in things like the smell of flowers in full bloom. The leaves were crunching under my footsteps and the sound of the stream water gently rolling over the rocks was very peaceful. The sound of the leaves rustling in the wind was also very calming to my soul. Then, watching the leaves fall slowly to the ground was like nature's confetti reminding me that LIFE in and of itself, is a celebration. It was such a gift to also catch the view of the Rays Of Sunshine shining through the clouds. That very image made me smile from the inside out. The unexpected hour alone in the woods was just what I needed and it seemed like the world stood still, just for a moment, for me to catch my breath.


Life is a gift. Breathe it in. Make something of it. Cherish it. Allow yourself the time to relax enough to see it for what it really is. Endeavor to experience what it throws your way. LOVE with all your heart and soul. Hold nothing back. LIVE WELL.

Coming Home

It is fall for sure. The weather in our town has been mostly cool and damp so far this fall. The colors are vibrant all around town. I love coming home to this tree. One good thing about being a busy mom is that I get to come home and see this tree several times a day. Each day the colors get a little bit brighter.I wonder how many more days until the entire tree is filled with fall colors? I especially love how the leaves are different colors and all on the same tree.

I am feeling a little cool and damp on the inside today. There is much to be thankful for and much I have lost too. My arms ache just a bit today as I remember my sweet baby Jeremy. Here's hoping that there are warmer and brighter fall days ahead.

Baskets and Pantries Full of Gratefulness

I am humbled again.

I am grateful for the numerous snack and pantry items that were donated this past week. Today I delivered two very full snack baskets that were beautifully decorated and arranged. I noticed throughout the morning that items were already beginning to quickly disappear.

I also filled the various pantries with the generous supply of easy to prepare meals that were donated as well.

In the process of stocking those shelves and filling those baskets I realized that that it was I that was filled. I was filled with a gift of peace knowing that together we are truly making a difference to someone, maybe a few someones. It feels good to spread sunshine. It is healing for me to do something to change the world that I see.

I was reminded of yet another quote that I hold dear to my heart.
"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." ~James Barrie~

I thank all those who participated through prayer, donations, and financial support. I also appreciated the help organizing the baskets. I have supplies to keep it going for the next few weeks but would love to keep it going longer. If you missed us this time or would like to help out again, please feel free to participate whenever you can. I am hoping to refill the baskets weekly. As always, every little bit helps and together adds up to a big impact on the hearts of others. May your heart feel filled tonight knowing that you made a difference in the lives of many families.

Praying that each of us can find a place within our hearts where we take nothing for granted. Life is so fragile.

Finding Sunshine Of Our Own

Our fall vacation to the beach yielded plenty of rain this year. What would one expect when they travel in the midst of Tropical Storms that hovered up and down the coast? This was a good thing for the areas that have been without rain for many months. A local resident that we met while eating at our favorite restaurant informed us that there hasn't been two days of consecutive rain since May. In fact one of the smaller beaches that we like to frequent was closed due to higher levels of bacteria which is caused by a lack of rain water. There wasn't any flooding here as far as we could tell but we did hear that the water level rose. While one would typically render this a disaster of a vacation we decided to make it the best vacation that we could and do you know what? We succeeded!

Would we have liked to have had more sunny days at the beach? Of course.
We quickly realized that the rain didn't stop us from having good quality time together, it didn't stop the fun, it didn't keep us from doing anything that was on our "list" of vacation things to do! With a little last minute adjusting to our schedule we were able to leave earlier than planned and get two sunny beach days in at the beginning of the trip.

I feel like we were able to live out our theme for life now FINDING SUNSHINE. Maybe there wasn't a lot of sunshine in the forecast, but there was plenty to go around in our family. I felt good. It felt right and refreshing to our souls. This vacation was just what we needed and I am glad that we stayed and made the most of our trip.

I'll be sharing more thoughts and reflections from our trip soon. Stay tuned.

Words of Encouragement

Thanks to Kara for your kind words of encouragement on a late night. It warms my heart more than you will ever know.

Life is different now.

Sure, like most folks, I get frustrated too sometimes but that too is different now.

My mantra..."There are worse things in life than..."

There are moments EVERYDAY when I look up and think I want time to freeze right now in this moment. I want to memorize all there is to remember because time doesn't stand still and time moves on. For the most part, time moves on before we are ready. We aren't offered that choice to say whether or not we are ready for a change. It happens right before our own eyes and sometimes, most times, we don't even notice.

There are moments in life where I just plain and simple wear myself out with my deep thoughts and reflections. I think I intimidate people with my depth of character and that most times people think I am weird. I am learning to like myself and care less about what others think of me and the way I choose to live my life. All we are we are...like the song says. I cannot change the circumstances that have created the person that I am today. My circumstances have created me just like yours have created you. We are not here to judge one another, just to love one another.

Mostly, I just don't want to miss a moment. Life is short. Life as we know it can change in a second. I want to live with my eyes, heart, and mind wide open. Life is a gift.

So forgive me if I am guilty of freely showing love and gratitude often. Forgive me for continuing to cry almost on a daily basis. I am living, breathing, and feeling it ALL, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have survived to tell stories about depths in life that I wish I didn't experience much less remember. However, those very depths have taught me how to make the ordinary EXTRAORDINARY! The ordinary moments have formed new heights in my world, and for that, I am grateful.

And to those of you who have shown broken hearted love and encouragement to me and my family along the way we are grateful. The moments shared on night's like this of how our "story" has impacted your lives in a positive way is powerful. I petition you to keep sharing those with us...those stories fill us with warmth and help us to see the many ways that Jeremy lives on through and in each of your hearts. It is then that we in turn can feel his warmth all around us and that feels good. So good.

You Get What You Give

Does your soul need refreshing?

Have you tried volunteering your time, treasures, or talents to someone in need?

I just can't say enough about the way it makes me feel to be in service to others in need. Just when feel like I don't have a single solitary cell left in my body to accomplish anything, I feel on top of the world when I can help someone else. It really is amazing, try it for yourself and see if you don't agree.

Remember the quote about the rainbow colors? Well it inspired me so much that I enlisted the help of my kids and we made Rainbow brownies. Don't get too excited, they were made with a lot of help from Betty Crocker in a box and two small canisters of Mini M&Ms. In the end they indeed looked rainbow delicious! We printed the quote on colorful paper, wrapped each one individually in pretty bags and tied them with rainbow color ribbons. They were delivered to the respite house, the place we called home for several weeks while Jeremy was sick. There was even an adorable fall pumpkin basket on the desk just waiting for the delicious yummies! Here's hoping that a little homemade treat and an inspirational quote may make the families walking to and from the hospital feel loved, encouraged, and perhaps even help them find a little smile today.

I spent the rest of the morning at the respite house yesterday. The bulk of my time was spent organizing one of the pantries that the families have direct contact with on a daily basis. I threw out old expired food and organized the shelves for ease at finding what might be needed. What is the point of this story you might ask? Well folks, there is a need that I would like to invite you to help provide. There is a desperate need for easy meals, you know like Easy Mac, Chef Boyardee cans of Ravioli, Hamburger Helper, those yummy Lipton Noodle and Sauce packs, Premade Tuna Meals, Cup of Noodles, and Oodles of Noodles. You get the point, things that families could make quick and easy. There is also a need for snack items such as granola bars, Nutragrain bars, Trail Mix, Pretzels, anything in a single serve packet that the families could grab and eat on the go or at the bedside of their child. I went to the main pantry to restock and it was completely bare of these types of food. If you happen to be at the grocery store this week and you are able to help out by supplying even one item mentioned above, it would be such a blessing to the families at the respite home.

I also delivered 252 packs of tissues to the PICU as well. I know, a big day huh? The staff were all happy to see me and also grateful (as always) for the tissues. My supply of tissues has now been depleted. The PICU typically calls every two months for the tissues. This is another invitation to help restock tissues for other crying Mama's just like me. Would you prayerfully consider helping fill that need as well. Remember we collect small purse size packs that are individually wrapped. These tissues are delivered by the staff to the PICU families who need them.

Any donations can be delivered to my home at any time. Monetary donations and/or gift cards are also appreciated to make these types of purchases. I plan to visit weekly so anytime is good, as these donations are appreciated on an ongoing basis.

It is another way to take something that seems so small but can have a big impact on someone in need, especially if we work together. I bet we can restock that pantry and the tissue supply in no time!

I am grateful for your prayers and your support as always. Not one prayer or donation goes unnoticed. Sadly, I still have my Mother's Day Bag project thank you cards in hand and need to send those. Sorry folks...

And by the way...Kirsten, this feeds me! :)

Grow Old With Me

Grow Old With Me.

This is the song that we danced to for the first time as husband and wife thirteen years ago on our Wedding Day.

We were young and we had our whole life ahead of us. We could see so many happy times together. We planned for those...

We've had some tough times too along the way. We didn't plan for those. Were we young and naive? Were we so happy to finally begin our lives together that we couldn't imagine those times? Did we just passively acknowledge them and assume they would be small hurdles? Perhaps a little of all three.

Weddings still make me cry. A mixed bag of tears really. Mostly, when I attend weddings, I remember when I too was the bride, just like it was yesterday. On my Wedding Day I remember feeling so happy and looking forward with excitement to begin this journey of marriage with a person that I knew was a good fit for my soul. I remember feeling full of hope of so many good things to come. They did for sure. Too many to count. I also remember being filled with certainty that we could face anything together that life had to throw at us. We were strong individually and even stronger together... Maybe I was too confident. Standing at the altar that day, I surely didn't think we would live to tell about our child that we loved and had to let go. Grieving at times can be a stress on a marriage, but it has also been a glue like none other.

Today, we are still standing together, still in love, still devoted to each other and the life that we began so many years ago. This year is different though. This year, we stand more maturely, refined by God and the life experiences that we have been through. We surely don't look much like that couple thirteen years ago. Today we have a few more gray hairs and a few more wrinkles, but more of what counts on the inside, much more wisdom and bigger hearts for sure! Today we stand ready to face whatever life brings to each and every day and with much greater love and appreciation. Life is so very fragile and it can change in an instant. We stand today with gratefulness for God's blessings in our lives and a desire to just make the most of each day and the life that has been given to us. Our lives, our family, our marriage, and our love for one another all have such greater meaning. So today we celebrate a marriage still standing through such adversity, the every day frustrations and the big roadblocks too.

No flowers or fancy dinner reservations were needed. We have just returned from being out of town and there was lots of unpacking to do and an enormous pile of laundry. No worries. We didn't need to go to extraordinary measures to fluff up the day because in every way that counts, our lives are extraordinary. An anniversary is a special day don't get me wrong. For us however, it is the every day, ordinary moments that are what really matter. I am content with my extraordinary everyday moments and those are all the gifts that I need, today and tomorrow too. It will be nice to go out for dinner sometime in the near future and to enjoy a special evening together. We will make the time to celebrate our love, but after all, we are adults and can delay our plans to a time when it works out best for everyone's schedule. In doing so, we will be able to truly enjoy the time together.

Here's hoping that our future is bright and filled with more sunshine than our hearts can hold. I am just grateful to have my husband along for the crazy ride of life, the highs, the lows, and everything in between. So today, and for each day that we have to come, we will face the setting sun with God as two people forever changed but still holding on to each other and to HIM.

A Tooth Fairy Visit at the Beach

Who knew?

If you should lose your tooth while on vacation at the beach and you place that very tooth under your pillow while you slumber to the sound of the crashing waves, you might just wake up to the gift of a sand dollar. I guess the Tooth Fairy really does find you no matter where you are. Hmmm

And oh my, isn't she creative?

My daughter thinks so. :)