Seeking Sunshine

The weeks been busier lately. The snow caused lots of things to need rescheduling and that ALL seemed to take place the last week in February, which seems like yesterday, but now it is March.

Some activities were blissful and refreshing and others caused my tendency toward deep reflectiveness to kick into high gear. Not to mention, having so many things scheduled caused a back up in the regular load of to dos on my list.

I woke up today tired and fighting emotions in my soul that if not taken care of could potentially rob me of having any joy today. God has gently used more than one circumstance this very week to show me that I am still stuck in a place of comparing my ugly insides to other's beautiful outsides. He also reminded me that I am looking too closely at the journey and the gifts of others rather than staying focused on my own. Don't we all do this to some degree or other? Why do we do it? It leaves us all in a state of discontentment and it robs our soul of the joy that God desires for us.

I made up my mind early this morning that I would refuse to let those negative and hurtful emotions to win. Today is a gift and I want to find and open the hidden joy waiting for me. I did what I have learned to do...seek the sunshine. It's there. It's always there. Some days I just have to work harder and look closer to find it. I did meet success and indeed found lots of sunshine this morning. At first I tried to play with my son at home and to get "lost" in his world. We tried playing with puzzles and reading books. No luck. We tried to watch a movie. No luck. We even tried to "clean" (my little guy loves water and a rag and will play independently for hours it would seem) our ABC letters on the fridge. No luck. I quickly realized that I would have to work harder today and determined that we physically needed to leave this house. AHH...victory at last!









I was seeking the sunshine today and I found it. I was seeking my savior's mercy and grace today and I found that too.

"You have a way of turning winter into spring.
Make something beautiful out of all this suffering.
Here I am once again in need of resurrection..."
Resurrection by Nicole Sponberg (this song is on my playlist)

I also needed to spend some time understanding MY journey today. I am reflecting on Exodus 23:29-30. I needed to be reminded that not all of God's solutions are instantaneously provided right when I want them to be delivered. God sees things far different than I do.

So as the sun reaches it's place to cast afternoon light and warmth on my deck, I will rest here. I will continue to work hard to stay on this course for the rest of the day because I am certain that those other emotions will try to wait and pounce on me later.

I am even sitting with my laptop facing the window so I can physically see the sunshine and feel it's warmth on my face and on my fingers as I type this post and share my thoughts.

Work.
HARD WORK.
Needful work.
Victory has already been won.
Let Go. Let Go. Let Go. Let Go. Let GO.