September?

September? Can it really be here already? Summer sure flew by and I am dragging my feet to see it come to an end. I love summer once we get past the beginning of June. I feel good for the most part in the summer. There is much about the summer that makes me happy in general. This summer has brought some challenges which I will not share here, at least not now anyway. I've been working hard to keep my head above water more often than not this summer and so I do have a slight concern that I will be even more emotionally challenged as we move from summer into the fall. I have begun to wonder when I will not be emotionally challenged? I wonder how my experiences would leave a person anything otherwise?

Even I have noticed how I have avoided my usual sense of therapeutic writing here on this blog. I hide behind the busyness of summer and the in the fun things that I like to do with my family and friends. The work of grieving, well it waits for you. It waits for the quiet hours and it sneaks up you when you are least prepared. It is still ever present in my world.

School starts next week for our kids and that means we have only a few days left to soak up summer and cross things off of our summer list. Just looking at my calendar for the upcoming month makes me feel stressed and it hasn't even happened yet. Shew!And while I will admit to the happy thought of having a few hours in the day to get things done and perhaps to have a moment to catch my breath, I dread the quiet of when everyone else is gone from our home. My response...to get busy doing something.
So while I attempt to enjoy the last few days of summer before school starts, I am also digging my feet into the ground doing my best to avoid the parts of the next season that I don't like. I've learned that digging doesn't help and the hard days will come anyway...

The roller coaster ride that we have been on in the past has given us a new perspective and so I dare not to complain about the choices that we freely make to participate in such activities. For the most part, our involvement in various activities is voluntary, with good purpose, and God willing with good outcomes. Nothing like the events we once faced in the past. We are just a busy family and busy is good I guess, for now. Busy mode keeps my mind from wandering into thoughts I'd rather not think about.

I'm up to my ears in planning and scheduling while trying to remember how little control I really do have over many things in my life.