Highs and Lows

Highs and lows ebb like the tides in the ocean. I have mentioned before that it is exhausting to "feel" so much within any given day.

*Background- Once you walk a mile in the shoes we have, you NEVER forget anything. You don't forget the faces, the smells, the sounds, the sights, etc.from the days in the hospital. We were very blessed by the relationships that were formed in the hospital while Jeremy was sick. We formed very close bonds with many families and could not imagine what that experience would have been like without their support. We remain in contact with many of the families that we connected with last year. We continue to pray for each and every one of these special children, even the ones that we have lost touch with. We pray for all of the children in the PICU daily and for the medical teams charged with their care.


So without further delay, here are the highs: (All in one 1/2 days)

Our sweet friend E has been discharged from the hospital after surgery on Tuesday. She is doing well and will make the journey home tomorrow.

Another friend J. has finally been given a room after hanging out in the ER for awhile. How comfortable could that be? He seems to be responding to treatment and as of this afternoon , had shown some improvement. So we will pray that this will be a short stay for him this time.

My two year old said "I love you " unprompted tonight.

The fact that my husbands minor surgery was successful and that it is over. Please pray for continued healing.

After this surgery was over, my husband said he saw not one, but two, of my OB doctors. It reminded him of some of the more joyful reasons to be in a hospital. It triggered a moment of sadness for him but the doctor who delivered Jeremy also recognized Scott and made a point to sit with him for a few minutes and talk. She is fully aware of our circumstance and has been so compassionate. I am touched that she was able to be with him today and comfort him.

My parents and Father in law who were so helpful today keeping things normal for the other members of our family, while allowing my husband to have the best care possible. Thanks Mom and Dad for the break too:)

My friends the W's. Even though I thought I had everything under control, they surprised us with a delicious pot of White Chicken Chili. Yumm. Just what we needed. Details... so important... sugar cookies with blue and yellow sprinkles. How thoughtful.

Another friend A. who indulged in a manicure today and felt good! Now her nails look good too. It makes me smile to know that she smiles.

Prayer Warriors that still come forward to share the ways that Jeremy has touched their lives. Another Jeremy story was gifted to me today and it made me smile and okay cry too.

Two special children that will be giving of themselves in order to help other children in the PICU in honor of Jeremy. Even better... it was all their own ideas. You touched our hearts J and B.

Sunshine that arrived in my mailbox. Thanks for the cards, tissues, sunshine gifts, and donations toward Jeremy's foundation.

As I am writing this, my house is finally quiet. Ahhh.

Linguine With Clam Sauce or Linguine Vongole, another favorite of mine. We had it for dinner tonight and I ate way too much. Stress eating.

The feeling of finally finishing ONE batch of thank you cards. Oh what satisfaction.




The Lows:

I have so many more thank you cards to send. It bothers me that I have not been able to complete them sooner. I fear people will think we are unappreciative.

The above mentioned surgery really put things over the edge this week. Too many triggers for a painful time last year. It needed to be done but the stress was not welcomed.

The triggers of Jeremy's stay in the hospital. Too frequent now.

A sweet child J. fighting so hard for his life. Please pray for him and for his family. My heart is really going out to this family, I wish I could do more.

I am feeling overwhelmed lately...with everything.

There seems to be so much pain and suffering all around me. I never knew such pain and anguish in all of my life.

Missing Jeremy so much. Fundraiser is going on for the hospital and wishing I could give in his honor and not in his memory.

EXHAUSTION

Not being to do what I wanted to accomplish today. My expectations of myself are probably too high.


There's probably so much more but I am too tired to write any more.