Great Book
Great audio book
Touching story
Grab your tissues a hundred times story
Turns out to be a great movie too!
A favorite scene of mine, dare you ask?
Gloria: Listen... Opal... you cannot hold onto anything that wants to go. Do you understand what I'm sayin'? You just got to love it while you got it, and that's that.
That's that.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Oh So Grateful
We are grateful for many things here in our house. It is that attitude of gratitude that I am desperately trying to hold onto in these more painful of calendar days.
As Sara Mclachlan writes in her song Full of Grace, I feel like I am sinking and I am clawing for solid ground, I am being pulled down by the undertow... The waves are beginning to roll in and I see bigger ones in the horizon to come.
I was telling hubby tonight just how tired I am. It is emotionally draining doing this battle with grief on a regular basis. This time of year is especially hard.
There is also a place in me that is full of grace. This is the grace that sustains me when I feel as though I cannot keep it together. Grace for the moment. There have been the moments that I feel undone and then also the moments where I experience tender grace and gain strength to keep going to a place of peace. Some of you reading this are those that have been nudged to send a little encouragement my way in various ways in recent days. Thank you for following that nudge. Thank you for the outpouring of love that you have shown to me and my family.
I am grateful. I don't know what we would do without you all, each and every one of you.
To end with sunshine, I'll share a few of our other grateful moments from our family to yours.
I am grateful for my teacher. She makes learning cool. I really like the plays and projects that she creates for us to do.
I am grateful that I feel better.
I am grateful for nostalgic visits back to the good ole college days.
I am grateful that I could remember good times in my life...
I am grateful for my family amidst the daily challenges, all we are, we are!
I am grateful for yummy dinners.
I am grateful for friends and family who take care of us when we are in need.
I am grateful for yummy homemade cakes.
I am grateful for a heartlines from RM who called today. It made my day to hear from him. Of course what perfect timing!
I am grateful for a warm bed to sleep in.
All in all we have much to be thankful for...still. This list is just was uttered by my nears and dears tonight. The list continues on a daily basis. It doesn't take long to see the blessings in life waiting to be unwrapped. Even in the midst of great trial, there is always grace and love, evidence of how dearly loved I am, we are, and YOU are by our heavenly father. Amen.
As Sara Mclachlan writes in her song Full of Grace, I feel like I am sinking and I am clawing for solid ground, I am being pulled down by the undertow... The waves are beginning to roll in and I see bigger ones in the horizon to come.
I was telling hubby tonight just how tired I am. It is emotionally draining doing this battle with grief on a regular basis. This time of year is especially hard.
There is also a place in me that is full of grace. This is the grace that sustains me when I feel as though I cannot keep it together. Grace for the moment. There have been the moments that I feel undone and then also the moments where I experience tender grace and gain strength to keep going to a place of peace. Some of you reading this are those that have been nudged to send a little encouragement my way in various ways in recent days. Thank you for following that nudge. Thank you for the outpouring of love that you have shown to me and my family.
I am grateful. I don't know what we would do without you all, each and every one of you.
To end with sunshine, I'll share a few of our other grateful moments from our family to yours.
I am grateful for my teacher. She makes learning cool. I really like the plays and projects that she creates for us to do.
I am grateful that I feel better.
I am grateful for nostalgic visits back to the good ole college days.
I am grateful that I could remember good times in my life...
I am grateful for my family amidst the daily challenges, all we are, we are!
I am grateful for yummy dinners.
I am grateful for friends and family who take care of us when we are in need.
I am grateful for yummy homemade cakes.
I am grateful for a heartlines from RM who called today. It made my day to hear from him. Of course what perfect timing!
I am grateful for a warm bed to sleep in.
All in all we have much to be thankful for...still. This list is just was uttered by my nears and dears tonight. The list continues on a daily basis. It doesn't take long to see the blessings in life waiting to be unwrapped. Even in the midst of great trial, there is always grace and love, evidence of how dearly loved I am, we are, and YOU are by our heavenly father. Amen.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
On Angel's Wings...Four
Dearest Jeremy,
It is unimaginable to comprehend that you will be turning four this month. Four years old. Your mama couldn't be more proud of you and what your life represents to my little heart and beyond in this earthly world. Your mama heart also breaks when I think of all the things that just won't ever come to be in this lifetime here on earth.
I have been busy preparing for your birthday. It has been a difficult experience to describe. It pains me to buy things that would not normally be the case when one prepares for a four year old's birthday party but at the same time, it is the most healing way I know how, to experience this day, your birthday, in a healthy way. Tears stream down my face wishing for things to be different, but they aren't. All of the tears in the world won't change the fact that you are not here to share your birthday with me and your family in ways that I had imagined in a time once long ago.
The last few days have been so painful but I know your presence has been right by my side and for that I am most grateful. I have felt all the little ways that you have been a part of my day! Please forgive your mama for selfishly wanting more...Your daddy and I wonder about the things that would have been your favorites. What things would stand out as "Jeremy" in our family? This year, I wonder if it a blessing or a curse to really not know anything about you at all. I feel like I know the painful times of your life inside and out...and I am so desperate to know just the normal things that all mothers know about their children, the things that I didn't get the chance to learn about you. I want and I cannot have... How selfish of me. You are healed and happy where you are in heaven. I know if given the chance, that you would not choose to come to me here on this earth. That does comfort me...Imagining you happy is an amazing image, I only wish I could have experienced that here on earth with you. Good things come to those who wait.
I am at peace with the way that your birthday plans have been coming together. Having a plan for these really hard days, well that is half the battle.
Tissues have shown up in our earthy world twice today.Then again, you already knew that didn't you? Tears...and more tears...Remembrance and compassion. It sustains me when I am weak with the grief.
Sweet son, thank you for the love you have showed to your Mama on Angel's wings these last few days. I KNOW you are good, I just miss you with all that I am. My heart didn't miss a thing...Until we meet again, know that I love you forever and always.
Love,
Mommy
It is unimaginable to comprehend that you will be turning four this month. Four years old. Your mama couldn't be more proud of you and what your life represents to my little heart and beyond in this earthly world. Your mama heart also breaks when I think of all the things that just won't ever come to be in this lifetime here on earth.
I have been busy preparing for your birthday. It has been a difficult experience to describe. It pains me to buy things that would not normally be the case when one prepares for a four year old's birthday party but at the same time, it is the most healing way I know how, to experience this day, your birthday, in a healthy way. Tears stream down my face wishing for things to be different, but they aren't. All of the tears in the world won't change the fact that you are not here to share your birthday with me and your family in ways that I had imagined in a time once long ago.
The last few days have been so painful but I know your presence has been right by my side and for that I am most grateful. I have felt all the little ways that you have been a part of my day! Please forgive your mama for selfishly wanting more...Your daddy and I wonder about the things that would have been your favorites. What things would stand out as "Jeremy" in our family? This year, I wonder if it a blessing or a curse to really not know anything about you at all. I feel like I know the painful times of your life inside and out...and I am so desperate to know just the normal things that all mothers know about their children, the things that I didn't get the chance to learn about you. I want and I cannot have... How selfish of me. You are healed and happy where you are in heaven. I know if given the chance, that you would not choose to come to me here on this earth. That does comfort me...Imagining you happy is an amazing image, I only wish I could have experienced that here on earth with you. Good things come to those who wait.
I am at peace with the way that your birthday plans have been coming together. Having a plan for these really hard days, well that is half the battle.
Tissues have shown up in our earthy world twice today.Then again, you already knew that didn't you? Tears...and more tears...Remembrance and compassion. It sustains me when I am weak with the grief.
Sweet son, thank you for the love you have showed to your Mama on Angel's wings these last few days. I KNOW you are good, I just miss you with all that I am. My heart didn't miss a thing...Until we meet again, know that I love you forever and always.
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Gratitude
I learned awhile back to fill the broken pieces of my heart with gratitude. If I just keep thinking about the many things that I am grateful for in my life, then maybe I would not have time to think so much about the hurtful things that dwell in my soul.
Now that November is upon us, I am looking forward to the gratitude tree that finds a happy space on our kitchen table. I have been keeping a gratitude journal for awhile now but I also love the tree and the focus our family makes at dinner time to discuss the things that we are grateful for each day.
I am looking forward to the intentional time to seek gratitude. We need it now more than ever. I tell you it is life changing. Won't you try it with me?
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