Well I have started and stopped about a thousand blog entries in the last few weeks.
Limited time to write and a heavy heart just don't work well together.
I am here. Still searching for peace and hoping to find sunshine. Times are tough and we are weary. I have returned to my strategy from the past and have decided to stick to the basics, try my best to be gentle with myself and others, and to pray hard. One day at a time. Some may say I am cocooning again...
On a happier note we have enjoyed spending summer mornings at our local Farmer's Market. We lather on the sunscreen, choose a hat, gather our market bags, and head to the market to see what we can find. It has been a fun experience for the kids to shop for local produce and other goods. This week we filled our bags with fresh corn, beets, and candy onions (which the local farmer told me to peel and place whole on the grill just until they soften. He assured me that I would after just one taste, return to his stand again next week to purchase more.)We also filled our bags with a variety of squash, fresh baked bread, peaches, and white nectarines. A local creamery also set up a stand. We splurged a little and tasted the homemade ice cream. It was delicious! We tried a timeless favorite, vanilla, and also a few daring flavors too, Cow's feet and Goosefeathers. I would say that in the end, the Cow's Feet was my favorite. Needless to say we have thoroughly enjoyed our purchases and have made some yummy snacks, dinners, and desserts as a result!
I just wish, with all that I am, that I could just enjoy the splendors of this world without the pain that seems so heavy to carry around.
I first began this very entry several hours ago. I sat down to do a final edit before publishing and finally saw something encouraging. I realize now another reason I have been drawn to the market this summer. An Ahh-Hah moment if you will.
I have been hand selected, a child of God I am. I am rooted in his love for me and if I am patient, if I am willing to wait upon the Lord, I am bound to produce some kind of fruit someday. I have been pruned and I am growing, painfully growing.
1 comment:
That sounds wonderful! I would love to go with you sometime to the farmer's market! I don't even know where it is and I am sure it is very close by! Those onions sound delicious and I just know my husband would love them!!
As I was reading, I actually had a different thought. The picture of the beautiful, delicious fruit along with your description of the huge variety of fresh vegetables, fruit, and homemade goodies, brought to my mind a picture of a whole different place. When I learned in one of my bible studies about the Garden of Eden, the original paradise that God intended for us to spend our days in, I learned just how glorious and splendorous it was. Overflowing with all the beauties of nature, everything we need for nourishment growing plentifully, and the greatest detail of all, basking in the richness alongside the Creator Himself! This was His original plan for us, His original dwelling for us, His original desire for us. That we would live in the most perfect of places, everything we need simply handed to us. The bountiful fruits bursting with flavor we would never experience anywhere else. The peaceful tranquility of the garden providing us with the rest we need for our souls. Why did this all end? Where did it all go? Enter sin. Sin brought us into a world that God never intended for us to know. It took us to a place of knowing hurt, pain, suffering, and grief. Though many of the sufferings in life are not caused directly by our own sin, they are a result of the existence of sin in this world.
Know that the Lord cries for your hurt, aches for your pain, and longs for you to be in that garden with Him. When you spend those little moments in the presence of goodness, bountiful harvest, and sweet treasures, remind yourself that THIS is where He wants you to be. Someday we will return to that place of pure beauty, perfect peace, and complete joy while we bask in the new Garden He has created in Heaven. You can even read in Revelations about how similar the heavens are to the original "heaven" God created in the Garden.
In the meantime, keep letting the Gardener prune you and help you produce that rich fruit. He is making you new, refreshing your spirit, and creating a pure heart in you that will bring the sunshine you so desire. Never forget that your sweet angel baby is already there....eating all the plentiful riches of the garden, resting in perfect peace, and walking side by side with the Creator and Lord of all.
In His Love,
Julie
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