The Mother's Day Project is well under way and from where I stand, things are coming together nicely. I am eager to see the amazing things that will come together to make this project a success again this year.
Here are a few updates that you might be interested to know...
1. In my day to day travels, I have noticed that Target and Michael's both have a nice selection of appropriate bag items in their dollar bin areas. Michaels has sadly raised their prices to $1.50 for most items but that is still a reasonable price.
2. Target is carrying the Mother's Day bags this year in their dollar bin area.
I grab every one that I can find when I happen by our local Targets. If you see any more, would you grab them? Please leave a comment if you need reimbursement for these bags.
3. I am looking for someone who might be able to contact Chick-Fil- A on behalf of our foundation. It has come to my attention that they are giving away a book that a Mom and child can create together in their kid meals. Klutz is the publisher of the book. I need someone who might take on the task of seeing about getting some of these donated and/or purchased by Chick-Fil-A or Klutz. They are really sweet. Again, leave a comment if this task is of interest to you.
4. I am also pursuing the possibility of having a volunteer staged here at my house for the BIG Stuffing Week. I was hoping to have a person in charge of opening the door, greeting volunteers, and getting them started on the tasks that are needed to be done.
If you have availability the week of April 30- May 4th during the day and are willing to camp out here at my house for a few hours at a time, please leave a comment or email me and let me know.
5. Are you available that week to stuff bags? Please leave a comment or email me the days and times that you are available to stuff. I am putting together a schedule now. I need to make good use of our time and I am hoping to get a few people together at the same dates/times.
6. Just a few tips if you are new to this project...
You really can donate just one item. All items collectively work together for a greater purpose and accomplish amazing things. Imagine the possibility of making a difference to just one human heart, it matters. Yes, one roll of lifesavers will be appreciated and bless a mom in need.
You can make a bag in memory or in honor of a special person in your life. You can fill the bag with items that remind you of that person. This bag can be different from other bags because these are not conference bags. The moms will not take opportunities to compare the contents of their bags.
You can donate a variety of objects or several of the same item. For example, maybe you have a ten dollar budget. You can send along ten notebook/journals or you can send ten different items, maybe a journal, a pen, a word search book, etc.
Trust me...this is one of the most amazing things to witness come together. In the past three years, there has never been an overabundance of one item and a complete deficit of others.
The economy has been hard on a lot of families...we are in need of time, talent, and treasures. I need help with stuffing, writing letters of encouragement, prayers, and also shopping, etc. In years past, I have received monetary donations and need shoppers to purchase items for the bags. There are plenty of ways to be involved. Don't let a lack of funds stop you from being part of this project.
The number one question that I am often asked is "What do you need? What should I donate?" There are endless possibilities of contents to be placed in the bags. Listen to your heart, follow your nudges, suggest items that are comforting to your own heart on a bad day, etc.
Do you turn to Starbucks on a bad day? Maybe a small gift card to Starbucks would bless a fellow coffee lover.
Do you turn to a hot bath and the latest issue of a favorite magazine? Bath salts, bubble bath, scented soaps, books, magazines, and lotions might bless someone.
Do you love to get lost in a good story? Maybe pass along a copy of your favorite book. In general, books with small short encouraging stories, like the Chicken Soup series, are always useful.
How about a good movie? Walmart often has good movies in the $5 bin
Are you like me and find comfort and inspiration in music? Cds and Itunes gift cards might be the answer that you land upon.
There is a subway restaurant within the hospital. Gift cards for the mom to grab a sandwich would also be a blessing.
There were days that I did not have the opportunity to shower. I felt disgusting...How did I cope?
I was gifted travel sized toiletries like deodorant, toothbrushes, toothpaste, and smelly lotion. An added bonus was mascara, lip gloss, gum, and breath mints. There were so many people in the hospital to talk with on a daily basis but who wants to have an intelligent conversation while sporting fuzzy teeth and stinky breath? I think overall, the doctors understood my place in the world but I did feel better about myself when these items were available for me to use. I was blessed to be in my own community where my family and friends could be an amazing support to me. Others come from all over our country and the world to receive medical treatment. These moms have NO ONE to love on them while they are here with their child.
I have long hair. On the second or third day of no shower or without the time to dry and style my hair, I often turned to clips and hair bands for a stylish updo or ponytail.
If you know me, you know I cry. Soft tissues were an absolute essential.
I spent hours on word searches. They were mindless and could be done even with the many interruptions throughout my time at Jeremy's bedside. Did I mention, that I could never find a pen? Those are always welcomed additions to the bags.
How about notepaper or journals for the moms to record important information or to even journal through their thoughts.
Prayer shawls, other homemade items, and handwritten notes of love and encouragement meant the world to me. I saved every one and they covered the walls of Jeremy's inpatient room. Don't ever underestimate the power that our human hearts have to love on one another, even strangers. Are you crafty? What might you be able to make that would be a blessing to someone else? Some of my favorites were scarves, blankets, bookmarks, note cards, cd's of inspirational music for me and for Jeremy to listen to...
I thank you for the interest in this year's project-together we will make a difference in the hearts of many moms who are in need of our love. Please feel to leave comments or contact me if you have any further questions.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Ready, Set, Go!
For weeks now there have been Mother's Day bag items delivered to our doorstep or to me personally while out and about! I can't even begin to describe how elated I am to see that there are those, like me, that hold this project close at heart and are already preparing for this year's project, even without my formal announcement.
To cut to the chase...Ready, Set, Go! The Mother's Day Bag Project 2012 is here!
I am thinking we need a catchier name? Any ideas???
This year is unique. A new Children's Center has been built and will open this month. How does this change our project? There are more patient beds in the new Children's Center. As in previous year's, I will leave the final number of bags delivered up to God. He has a plan and I will serve merely as His vessel to accomplish this mission for Him, that is of course alongside of all of you! That's because this has become a HUGE effort, ONLY made possible by the collective effort of so many folks out there!
So, let's rise up together and make this project happen again this year! Here are a few details to get us started...
1. 205 is the new total number of patient beds in the new Children's Center. Yes, you read that correctly, there could potentially be 205 mothers in just one of the hospitals in our very own community spending Mother's Day in the hospital with their child. Sadly, there are more...
2. A girl can dream... I am aiming to donate bags to the respite homes within our area that feed into that hospital as well. That number is an additional 58.
3. NEW GOAL = 268 bags!!!! Can we do it? Yes, WE CAN!!! LET'S DO IT!!!
4. This is not a conference gift bag. What does that mean? The bags do not need to be alike and their contents will not be compared to one another. This is an individual and personal gesture to a Mom who is spending Mother's Day in the hospital with her child. Donate whatever and anything that speaks to your heart. Any donation however small or large will work and collectively be a part of something so AMAZING! Monetary donations are also always appreciated in any amount as well. We have shoppers who are ready and willing to serve. Checks can be made payable to The Rays of Sunshine Foundation, LLC.
To cut to the chase...Ready, Set, Go! The Mother's Day Bag Project 2012 is here!
I am thinking we need a catchier name? Any ideas???
This year is unique. A new Children's Center has been built and will open this month. How does this change our project? There are more patient beds in the new Children's Center. As in previous year's, I will leave the final number of bags delivered up to God. He has a plan and I will serve merely as His vessel to accomplish this mission for Him, that is of course alongside of all of you! That's because this has become a HUGE effort, ONLY made possible by the collective effort of so many folks out there!
So, let's rise up together and make this project happen again this year! Here are a few details to get us started...
1. 205 is the new total number of patient beds in the new Children's Center. Yes, you read that correctly, there could potentially be 205 mothers in just one of the hospitals in our very own community spending Mother's Day in the hospital with their child. Sadly, there are more...
2. A girl can dream... I am aiming to donate bags to the respite homes within our area that feed into that hospital as well. That number is an additional 58.
3. NEW GOAL = 268 bags!!!! Can we do it? Yes, WE CAN!!! LET'S DO IT!!!
4. This is not a conference gift bag. What does that mean? The bags do not need to be alike and their contents will not be compared to one another. This is an individual and personal gesture to a Mom who is spending Mother's Day in the hospital with her child. Donate whatever and anything that speaks to your heart. Any donation however small or large will work and collectively be a part of something so AMAZING! Monetary donations are also always appreciated in any amount as well. We have shoppers who are ready and willing to serve. Checks can be made payable to The Rays of Sunshine Foundation, LLC.
and can be mailed to this address:
Rays of Sunshine Foundation
9 Newburg Avenue
Suite 201
Catonsville, MD. 21228
What does serving in a project like this look like?
Serving here means giving of your time, talents, and treasures. Just like every recipient of the bag is unique and is in the midst of their own journey, that means every giver is unique too. It will mean something different to each and every person that chooses to particpate this year! I am hopeful to get the support of those faithful supporters that I have had in the past as well as some new help too! I can't help but to wonder of the nudgings of your heart that are whispered from above...where those nudges will lead us, who they will impact, and in what ways? My golly, I get goosebumps of these wonderings tonight. Any doubt that this is real? Ask me and I'll tell you some amazing stories of the many ways that so many others became the hands and feet of our Lord, angels on earth, that loved us through the most horrific time in our lives...
Need more details?
Are you gifted with prayer? Could you please keep this project in your prayers that we might fulfill the desires of our Lord and meet the needs of those individual Moms that receive these bags this year?
Are you interested in serving as my assistant to this project this year? I could really use some help in this leadership role this year...Contact me with questions or your interest in serving in this role.
Do you work at an office or have access to paper boxes?
We need lots of those! You can leave them on my porch or contact me for further information.
Would you be willing to purchase or donate funds to purchase the actual gift bags used for this year's project?
Do you have hours of your day that you could serve as a shopper or to help stuff the bags?
We will need both jobs filled by multiple individuals the week of April 30th -May 4th. Yes, I am a bit ahead of the game but there is glory in planning ahead of the game!
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Are you gifted at writing notes of encouragement? Have you considered writing a note of encouragement to one of the moms or more? Do you make cards that could be used by others to write these notes of encouragement?
Can you donate an item? Any item? Could you donate two or more of that same item? Ideas to follow in subsequent post...
I have seen with years of doing this project that the items placed within the bags, seem to round themselves out all on their own. For example, there are NEVER a overabundance of granola bars and an absence of something else. What does that mean? Follow the whisperings to your soul. What would bless you in a time of need? What are your favorite go to items on a hard day? Chances are that very same thing that came to your mind would bless someone else. Trust me, just go with it...Now act on that nudging!
Are there folks out there that you could share this project with? Do you know of any areas of business that might donate something to help with this project? Any creative ideas would be most appreciated.
A box will be on my porch to receive any gifts that you generously offer at this time.
Gifts of any kind can also be mailed to the above mentioned address. Any other questions? Please contact me or leave a comment.
I thank you and am grateful from the very bottom of my heart...
From one broken hearted Mom, on behalf of so many this year... let me assure you of this, it will matter, it will make a difference, no matter how you choose to participate this year, it will bring comfort to someone in need, and you will be a part of changing a human heart. Just do it!
Wanna know something else? You will be blessed in return...I promise!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Emerging
Take a walk in my yard with me. Do you dare to take a walk within my soul?
There is a heaviness to the air in my world. Life is a journey filled with much amazement each and every day. There is joy and there is sadness. There is life and there is death. There is light and there is shadow. I have been getting better at the dance in the middle but lately the scale has been beginning to tip...
I spent an early hour at church singing the lyrics to Better Is One Day with a crackly voice and tears streaming down my face, all the while I was picturing what my youngest son would look like at four years of age and dancing in heaven. I pictured all the wonderful images that are a part of his world now apart from me and our family. I pictured such amazing things and then I felt strong knowing, that if given the chance to come back to me, that Jeremy would not. I imagined heaven as that wonderful...
I opened my eyes at the end of the song to see a few babies all around me happily snuggled up on laps and nestled close within their mama's arms and then I felt empty all over again. I felt as though I have missed out this wonderful thing that is so very precious and my heart just ached as it has so many times and probably always will.
My arms feel so very empty and they have ever since that sweet precious baby was called to go to his forever home. The pain is so very great and all consuming at times.
I feel like there is this dark place within me that I don't want to see and that I don't want to remember. If I choose to close that part of me off and refuse to go to that place, then I choose,in part,to not remember Jeremy. What a quandry...I leave the dance empty handed and brokenhearted-EVERY TIME!
Perhaps it is more likely that this is the time of year when I just remember too much?
I took a brief walk this evening in my very own backyard. I could hardly believe the changes that have happened in a time period that seems like overnight. We have had unusually warmer weather this season and the early spring could surely be attributed to that for sure. I am not complaining overall since the sunshine and I seem to get along well together. The feelings that have crept in this week just go to prove that the painful memories embedded within the dates of the calendar are more powerful than the sunny weather I guess.
While I was walking, I had this overwhelming feeling of the newness of life and of growing. It was afterall, all around me. I feel as though there are places withing me that are dead and dark. These images that I saw within my backyard stood to remind me that new life can and does grow from the most unexpected and even dark places. I felt a supernatural peace this evening. I was reminded that, as I have been busily trying to recreate, grow, and nurture what was once mine,something that is humanly impossible I might add, that the growing season for that fruit is over. That season and a very short one at that, yielded the most beautiful fruit... and now it is time to let it go and embrace the next season of growth which can and could be amazing in it's own way.
Perhaps my trouble, as it has always been in the past, is that I am much too busy looking backwards to see where it is that I am going. I have noticed along the way some rather profound fruits that have grown in areas of my life that I almost never would have imagined.
This ever so bitter and lonely place yields much human hearted growth, painful and the hard way as it must be, but growth for sure.
Where it is that I am going and what I am being pruned to do next, I am just not sure. Something is on the horizon though, I can just feel it. It is emerging.
... being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Phillippians 1:6
There is a heaviness to the air in my world. Life is a journey filled with much amazement each and every day. There is joy and there is sadness. There is life and there is death. There is light and there is shadow. I have been getting better at the dance in the middle but lately the scale has been beginning to tip...
I spent an early hour at church singing the lyrics to Better Is One Day with a crackly voice and tears streaming down my face, all the while I was picturing what my youngest son would look like at four years of age and dancing in heaven. I pictured all the wonderful images that are a part of his world now apart from me and our family. I pictured such amazing things and then I felt strong knowing, that if given the chance to come back to me, that Jeremy would not. I imagined heaven as that wonderful...
I opened my eyes at the end of the song to see a few babies all around me happily snuggled up on laps and nestled close within their mama's arms and then I felt empty all over again. I felt as though I have missed out this wonderful thing that is so very precious and my heart just ached as it has so many times and probably always will.
My arms feel so very empty and they have ever since that sweet precious baby was called to go to his forever home. The pain is so very great and all consuming at times.
I feel like there is this dark place within me that I don't want to see and that I don't want to remember. If I choose to close that part of me off and refuse to go to that place, then I choose,in part,to not remember Jeremy. What a quandry...I leave the dance empty handed and brokenhearted-EVERY TIME!
Perhaps it is more likely that this is the time of year when I just remember too much?
I took a brief walk this evening in my very own backyard. I could hardly believe the changes that have happened in a time period that seems like overnight. We have had unusually warmer weather this season and the early spring could surely be attributed to that for sure. I am not complaining overall since the sunshine and I seem to get along well together. The feelings that have crept in this week just go to prove that the painful memories embedded within the dates of the calendar are more powerful than the sunny weather I guess.
While I was walking, I had this overwhelming feeling of the newness of life and of growing. It was afterall, all around me. I feel as though there are places withing me that are dead and dark. These images that I saw within my backyard stood to remind me that new life can and does grow from the most unexpected and even dark places. I felt a supernatural peace this evening. I was reminded that, as I have been busily trying to recreate, grow, and nurture what was once mine,something that is humanly impossible I might add, that the growing season for that fruit is over. That season and a very short one at that, yielded the most beautiful fruit... and now it is time to let it go and embrace the next season of growth which can and could be amazing in it's own way.
Perhaps my trouble, as it has always been in the past, is that I am much too busy looking backwards to see where it is that I am going. I have noticed along the way some rather profound fruits that have grown in areas of my life that I almost never would have imagined.
This ever so bitter and lonely place yields much human hearted growth, painful and the hard way as it must be, but growth for sure.
Where it is that I am going and what I am being pruned to do next, I am just not sure. Something is on the horizon though, I can just feel it. It is emerging.
... being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Phillippians 1:6
Friday, March 9, 2012
Friday Sunshine
It's Friday. Wahoo. We made it through another week. Have you ever had the experience when you repeat an activity, say the same day and time each week, that when that event rolls around, you wonder how it was that another whole week went by? That's me lately.
The day started off a little foggy but I am trying my best to find the sunshine right?
I managed to find a few moments to grab a few things at the store alone! Anyone else prefer shopping with no kiddos? Amen. I snagged a few things for the weeks ahead, oh how I love when that happens! I also had a chance to volunteer at school this morning. I love working with the kids and being present in the lives of my children. I value their school, their education, and their awesome teachers.
Fridays mean Family Movie Nights in our house. We are all just so tired by the end of the week and we love to snuggle up to watch a good movie together. I really look forward to this family time together. They will be grown up all too soon. I stopped by our local Redbox to rent a movie and low and behold the Redbox man was there servicing the machine. How amazing is that? Let me just say that he was drawing a small crowd of curious customers who wanted to see what the inside of that happy Redbox machine looked like and just how it worked on the inside. It was pretty cool! To top it off, I even scored a free movie. Here's hoping that I picked a good one!
I am even excited about what I am planning to make for dinner tonight. I can only hope that it lives up to my expectation. I actually made this meal for our monthly meal swap, intended to post that recipe here, and then got sidetracked with lots of other things on my plate. It's called Shrimp Destin and you can go here for the recipe and try it for yourself. One of my meal swap friends made her meal and served it over homemade pasta. She said it was delicious. The recipe says that you can serve it over fresh toasted french rolls, pasta, or even rice. I think we will go the route of pasta too, but mine will likely come from a box.
The day is ending up to be pretty sunny after all! I hope your day has sunny so far too! I am adding prayers to those that are near and dear to my heart that are going through hard times right now. I pray that the Rays of Sunshine that shine down on your path today, wherever you are, sustain you through your difficult days.
The day started off a little foggy but I am trying my best to find the sunshine right?
I managed to find a few moments to grab a few things at the store alone! Anyone else prefer shopping with no kiddos? Amen. I snagged a few things for the weeks ahead, oh how I love when that happens! I also had a chance to volunteer at school this morning. I love working with the kids and being present in the lives of my children. I value their school, their education, and their awesome teachers.
Fridays mean Family Movie Nights in our house. We are all just so tired by the end of the week and we love to snuggle up to watch a good movie together. I really look forward to this family time together. They will be grown up all too soon. I stopped by our local Redbox to rent a movie and low and behold the Redbox man was there servicing the machine. How amazing is that? Let me just say that he was drawing a small crowd of curious customers who wanted to see what the inside of that happy Redbox machine looked like and just how it worked on the inside. It was pretty cool! To top it off, I even scored a free movie. Here's hoping that I picked a good one!
I am even excited about what I am planning to make for dinner tonight. I can only hope that it lives up to my expectation. I actually made this meal for our monthly meal swap, intended to post that recipe here, and then got sidetracked with lots of other things on my plate. It's called Shrimp Destin and you can go here for the recipe and try it for yourself. One of my meal swap friends made her meal and served it over homemade pasta. She said it was delicious. The recipe says that you can serve it over fresh toasted french rolls, pasta, or even rice. I think we will go the route of pasta too, but mine will likely come from a box.
The day is ending up to be pretty sunny after all! I hope your day has sunny so far too! I am adding prayers to those that are near and dear to my heart that are going through hard times right now. I pray that the Rays of Sunshine that shine down on your path today, wherever you are, sustain you through your difficult days.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Shadows
We've all been hooked on this song in recent days. The kids request it almost as much as I do. Click here for the link to hear the song, Shadows, written and recorded by David Crowder.
It is significant in the fact that there is such joy and such sadness all around us in almost every direction we look. That's life though... I continue to walk with such balance of having the two together at the same time. Sometimes it is easier than others.
The lesson in the song that speaks the clearest path to my heart...we remember
When shadows falls on us we will not fear, we will REMEMBER.
Here are the lyrics if you'd like to read as you listen. Don't forget to push pause on the music at the bottom of the screen before you link up with You Tube.
Life is full of light and shadow
O the joy and O the sorrow
O the sorrow
And yet will He bring
Dark to light
And yet will He bring
Day from night
When shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember
When darkness falls on us
We will not fear
We will remember
When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We remember the cost
We rest in Him
Shadow of the cross
The darkness wants to suck me in and make me forget from where I have come. I have been here before, I have been rescued from this place of fear a time or two before. My flesh and soul oppose one another at times, but I want to remember.
I want to remember this place of comfort and the feeling that no matter what-all has already been won. For me, for you, and for us all...
It is significant in the fact that there is such joy and such sadness all around us in almost every direction we look. That's life though... I continue to walk with such balance of having the two together at the same time. Sometimes it is easier than others.
The lesson in the song that speaks the clearest path to my heart...we remember
When shadows falls on us we will not fear, we will REMEMBER.
Here are the lyrics if you'd like to read as you listen. Don't forget to push pause on the music at the bottom of the screen before you link up with You Tube.
Life is full of light and shadow
O the joy and O the sorrow
O the sorrow
And yet will He bring
Dark to light
And yet will He bring
Day from night
When shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember
When darkness falls on us
We will not fear
We will remember
When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We remember the cost
We rest in Him
Shadow of the cross
The darkness wants to suck me in and make me forget from where I have come. I have been here before, I have been rescued from this place of fear a time or two before. My flesh and soul oppose one another at times, but I want to remember.
I want to remember this place of comfort and the feeling that no matter what-all has already been won. For me, for you, and for us all...
Friday, January 27, 2012
Random Updates
I am still here. I think of something to write here almost everyday but life is not affording me much free time these days. I am sure that most would all agree that when we fall into times like these, we prioritize our agendas so that we can survive. Thank you or your grace in understanding why packing lunches for my children at night comes before writing on my blog.
There is some heavy stuff going on with our family right now so I would petition your prayers over us all. We are taking care of someone who is very dear to us that is very ill. That is all I will share for now. It has been a challenging situation overall for everyone involved but families pull together and stick by one another through Sunshine and rain, even the downpours.
To end on a happier note, I tried the new Chick-fil-A grilled chicken nuggets today and loved them! Yeah! I still prefer the original ones and will now experience the guilt factor of having a healthier option available for the times when the original nuggets take first choice. No Yeah!
I have a new word...grace. Do you?
I am enjoying warmer than average temperatures this winter. I am ready for spring and flip flops. The sooner the better.
I am tired.
I appreciate those comments left by so many wondering why I have stopped writing, if I am okay,and to just check in. Thanks. I do feel loved.
I AM doing my Valentine project for the Children's House again this year. More details to follow in the days to come but,for those of you who already know the drill, and would like to help, you now know what to do! :)
Have a super weekend.
There is some heavy stuff going on with our family right now so I would petition your prayers over us all. We are taking care of someone who is very dear to us that is very ill. That is all I will share for now. It has been a challenging situation overall for everyone involved but families pull together and stick by one another through Sunshine and rain, even the downpours.
To end on a happier note, I tried the new Chick-fil-A grilled chicken nuggets today and loved them! Yeah! I still prefer the original ones and will now experience the guilt factor of having a healthier option available for the times when the original nuggets take first choice. No Yeah!
I have a new word...grace. Do you?
I am enjoying warmer than average temperatures this winter. I am ready for spring and flip flops. The sooner the better.
I am tired.
I appreciate those comments left by so many wondering why I have stopped writing, if I am okay,and to just check in. Thanks. I do feel loved.
I AM doing my Valentine project for the Children's House again this year. More details to follow in the days to come but,for those of you who already know the drill, and would like to help, you now know what to do! :)
Have a super weekend.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012
Goodbye 2011! It was a bittersweet year. There were some really sweet memories and joyful moments this year for which I am ever so grateful. There was a time not too long ago when I seriously believed that I would never ever feel pure joy again in my lifetime. Fortunately I was very wrong.
I admire those who can dance. I on the other hand have two left feet. Maybe that's why this delicate dance of learning to feel joy and acknowledge pain all at the same time has been so difficult for me. Ha...if only it were that simple to explain.
Truth be told, I am learning. Painfully, tearfully, and stubbornly learning.
While there has been joy, there have also been some really tough times emotionally in 2011 too. Some life circumstances that I could see coming and prepare for, and some that I could not. While I thought I could prepare for some things that I knew would challenge me to my core, when they arrived, I felt 100% unprepared. Then I beat myself up for knowing what was to come and for not being in a better position to handle them the way I had wished to or had planned for.
Facts of the matter are that things have been very tough since this summer. You may have sensed this from my absence here on this blog. Too painful to write, too private, involving others now, and without their permission to share publicly, I have retreated to a very lonely place. One foot in front of the other has proven yet again, to get us to this point in time.
And so at this place, having arrived in 2012, it is my prayer that this be the year of grace and peace in my life. My soul so longs for peace and grace for the moments when it isn't. I think I have had an all or nothing approach to this dance of life. I can't shake the notion that we have been dealt some pretty nasty stuff. I long to be past the Old Maid card if you will, it has been in my hand far loo long. However, me being me, I do not wish to pass it along. I wish to bury this card instead.
So I welcome 2012 and all the possibilities that a new year can hold. Still trusting in the promise of our Lord that these places where grace is abounding in my life, will be redeemed beyond my wildest imagination. Not on my time of course, but on His. I pray this is a year of new life, new beginnings, good health, peace, joy, bright sunshine, and grace. I pray I can get out of my own way and to submit to Him fully and His will for my life,and most importantly for the ability to accept that of which is out of my control.
"For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
I wish you and yours a blessed New Year as well.
I admire those who can dance. I on the other hand have two left feet. Maybe that's why this delicate dance of learning to feel joy and acknowledge pain all at the same time has been so difficult for me. Ha...if only it were that simple to explain.
Truth be told, I am learning. Painfully, tearfully, and stubbornly learning.
While there has been joy, there have also been some really tough times emotionally in 2011 too. Some life circumstances that I could see coming and prepare for, and some that I could not. While I thought I could prepare for some things that I knew would challenge me to my core, when they arrived, I felt 100% unprepared. Then I beat myself up for knowing what was to come and for not being in a better position to handle them the way I had wished to or had planned for.
Facts of the matter are that things have been very tough since this summer. You may have sensed this from my absence here on this blog. Too painful to write, too private, involving others now, and without their permission to share publicly, I have retreated to a very lonely place. One foot in front of the other has proven yet again, to get us to this point in time.
And so at this place, having arrived in 2012, it is my prayer that this be the year of grace and peace in my life. My soul so longs for peace and grace for the moments when it isn't. I think I have had an all or nothing approach to this dance of life. I can't shake the notion that we have been dealt some pretty nasty stuff. I long to be past the Old Maid card if you will, it has been in my hand far loo long. However, me being me, I do not wish to pass it along. I wish to bury this card instead.
So I welcome 2012 and all the possibilities that a new year can hold. Still trusting in the promise of our Lord that these places where grace is abounding in my life, will be redeemed beyond my wildest imagination. Not on my time of course, but on His. I pray this is a year of new life, new beginnings, good health, peace, joy, bright sunshine, and grace. I pray I can get out of my own way and to submit to Him fully and His will for my life,and most importantly for the ability to accept that of which is out of my control.
"For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
I wish you and yours a blessed New Year as well.
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