Avoidance
Sadness
PVD (Post Vacation Depression)
Adjusting to our new summer routine. All three kids are home, ALL day. We have been crazy busy and I am crazy tired at the end of the day.
Daddy working longer hours to make up for lost time during vacation
All reasons why my blog has not been updated in almost week. The post that is working within my soul about Jeremy's Angel Day will take a major energy source that I presently do not have access to. I am dragging my feet to reflect upon it. Perhaps I am still in the process of reflecting upon it emotionally before I can write about it. Perhaps I am still in denial. If I don't write it, it didn't happen, and if it didn't happen, maybe I'll see my fourth child running around just like the rest of them. I know, this is not true.
I will write. Not yet... But I can see that many of you are wondering how we are doing and how things went on Monday.
I did add some songs to my playlist, enjoy.
Todd and Angie Smith lost their daughter Audrey Caroline in April of 2008 and wrote the song I Will Carry You in her memory. It is beautiful. Get your tissues ready before you listen, trust me.
Paul Cardall is an amazing composer. After listening, I'm sure you will agree. Paul is on the heart transplant list and has been for some time now. He has a blog and a website too. His music has brought such peace to my soul. As my friend L says, " I have some serious STATIC in my life right now." Paul's music centers me and quiets my soul during the static moments, who I am kidding, days... Many of us suffer from static daily. Do you? I hope you enjoy his music on static days and on peaceful days too. Check out his blog and if you wouldn't mind, start praying for him.
I also added ... You Are My Sunshine. Until recently, I haven't been able to listen to that song. Well I am listening no, crying as I listen, but listening. Jeremy, You will always be my sunshine...
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3 comments:
First of all, don't even apologize for not updating your blog! This is for you! You do it in your time!! I'm so glad you were able to find Audrey Caroline's site and the song that her mommy and daddy wrote for her. It's beautiful and really explains so much of what your heart longs to say.
When I faced one of my times of deep depression years ago, I guess I also had what you called "static" in my life. I guess that explains why I too found the only music that calmed my soul was instrumental music. Even my Christian music at times was too overwhelming for all the emotions I faced on a daily basis. At the end of a long and overwhelming day of struggling through work, I would get in the car and not even want to turn on the radio. I slowly worked my way up to classical music and then to Christian music. I think it was all part of God's way of reshaping me to be the child he designed me to be!
I am so glad you find that music touches your soul so well. I think it's a great way of "hiding the Word" in your heart so that when you need it the most it's always there. Find peace in these times of static, take it one day at a time, and allow yourself to move at a pace that best suits you. Nobody expects any more than that! We are not reading the words in your blog simply to see "how you handle things" but to walk with you on your journey. We won't rush ahead of you...don't worry! Just as a little child yells to the older kids, "Wait for me!", we will do that for you! Take all the time you need, sweet one. Every moment is yours to breathe the breath He gives to you.
In His grace,
Julie
Ok...I know I already left you a comment but I couldn't resist this one! I had Jeremy on my mind and thought to look up the meaning of his name, which I am sure you have already done. It took my breath away. This is what it said..
"God will raise up; God will set free"
While the chains of death have tied down your soul in a way as they continue to tug on your heart strings and cause you pain, think of Jeremy and what his name means. He has been raised up, he has been SET FREE!!! Maybe he just wanted me to tap you on the shoulder and remind you of that tonight...
Praying you will be set free from the grip of the enemy!
In our redeemer's love,
Julie
My rays of sunshine today:
1.slow(er:) summer mornings
2.watching my youngest and his new friend
3.enjoying my olders swimming and playing with friends
4. the music on your blog
5. the NEW music on your blog!
Wiping my eyes after listening to the "I Will Carry You" song . . .you were right, Amy. It's beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing your son, your story and your music with me. Praying that He sends you some rays of sunshine even on your darkest days.
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