It makes my heart ache to witness my children's grief. We have had many conversations with each child, in random fashion, over the last few days even.
It is touching to see how they embrace his place in our family and share ways that they carry a part of him with them wherever they go. I am thankful that they are verbal children and also that they feel comfortable enough with us to open up and share what is going on in their hearts. It saddens us beyond words to see our children hurt from this loss.
Our youngest asks if God will drop Jeremy down just so he can hold him for a little while. He asks if he can go to see Jeremy. I've seen him loving all over a baby doll and imagine tender hearted times shared with his brother. Times that are on hold for now...
Our middle child is our artist and writer. She expresses herself well through her artwork and cards. She is the author and illustrator of the artwork pictured. It speaks for itself. I found the mittens while attempting to take note of what winter items our children needed for the colder weather that will be approaching soon. We all know how difficult it will be to locate those items in the stores when it does finally snow. Instead of snow gear the bathing suits will be out on a rack...never did fully understand the retail bussiness.
Our oldest is sharing too. He misses his brother and worries like me about those around him. Sound familar? You know what they say, apples don't fall far from the tree.
Today I am still nursing two children back to health, something I could not do for Jeremy. He was on my mind so much this morning. Partly due to fears that I am struggling to keep contained and also just missing that moment with Jeremy when good ol' Mommy has that magic touch that seems to comfort and heal the icky virus. You know when all they want to do is to snuggle and be close to you...I missed that with Jeremy. His issues were too big for just Mom. As we were snuggling, we were listening to some soft music and the song, "Baby of Mine" came on and I was unable to keep the tears from flowing. It is such a tender song. I allowed myself to cry a little and let out the feelings that are filling up my soul again.
I also realized that God called me to be the mother of these FOUR precious children. He called ME, hand selected ME for them and THEM for me. He has equipped me with all I need to do this job well and He will fill in the gaps where I am weak. God and I are a team! I need to do the best that I can to take of the earthy children that he has put in my care and TRUST that He will take care of the parts that are His to take care of and have peace knowing that Jeremy safe in His care too.
1 comment:
I want to keep my comment with this posting simple by changing the words of this precious song....just a little bit, in order to drive a point home to you. You savior sings it to you every time you need Him. I'm doing it from memory so forgive me if I don't include all the stanzas!!
Amy, mine, don't you cry
Amy, mine, dry your eye
Rest your head close to my heart
never to part
Amy of mine
Little one, when you play
Pay no heed what they say
Let your eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, Amy of mine
If they knew all about you
They'd end up loving you too
All those same people who scold you
What they'd give just for the right to hold you
From your head down to your toes,
you're not much, goodness knows,
but you're so precious to me, sweet as can be
Amy of mine
Just as that sweet baby boy is yours and always will be, you are His!!! He holds you in His arms and longs to wipe the tears away and heal the grief. Imagine how painful it must be for Him to be so far away from ALL of His children until they return to Him in heaven. I pray you think of this now when you hear that song.
In His embrace,
Julie
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