A Sucked Out Juice Box

Back in the day, I used to attend a mother's group called MOPS (Mothers of Preschool Children). It was a wonderful part of my life that still holds very special memories for me. MOPS groups are alive and well, I am just not a member at the present time. I am pretty sure that I heard the term of A sucked out juice box to refer to the way that moms feel sometimes at one of the MOPS meetings that I attended. It basically was referring to the outweighing of the many demands of a mom and the lack of activities that fill us up, or refresh us, if you will.

I surely felt like a sucked out juice box last week. With a sick child at home for over a week straight, a consequently adjusted schedule, and also two to three kiddies waking up nightly, etc., etc., etc. I realize that it may sound like I am complaining or whining. I have surely lived through far worse and I do have that perspective. Don't get me wrong, it is my place and I wouldn't have it any other way. But...I won't lie, it is still hard sometimes. I am not always the Mom that I want to be or should be. I am not Supermom or perfect.

Last night we had Parent- Teacher conferences. My parents offered to babysit our kids so that both of us could attend. I do think it is very important when at all possible, for both parents to attend these conferences. I was honestly prepared for only one of us to be able to attend since one of our kids was still somewhat under the weather, but I was pleasantly surprised that we were both able to go in the end. The bonus, we even got an opportunity to grab dinner afterwards. I dressed up and Hubby made reservations. We even had a bottle of wine. Isn't this funny?
We are total label shoppers, almost always throwing all wine knowledge aside when choosing our selection. This label made us laugh and with it being Valentine's Day weekend and all we thought it was most appropriate. It really was a good choice after all. I would buy it again. Dinner was romantic, delicious, and amazing especially since I didn't have to cook it or clean it up one single dish. Nope, not even one! I especially love the ability to stay local in our community and support a restaurant right in our own hometown. Last night was the best night's sleep that I have had in awhile and so that was refreshing too.

Today, I celebrated the birthday of a dear friend. I was so focused on her and her influence on my life. I marveled at the time when we met, all that we have been through together, and how how our friendship has blessed me a million times over in almost seven years. I never considered how much fun I would have too just being there with her celebrating her special day. It was great to see and spend time with another friend that I don't get to see as often as I would like to. I had meaningful conversations with several other friends as well. I am grateful for the authentic friendships that I have in my life. Real moms, real women, and the real opportunities to be brutally honest about life. It was refreshing to just relax among my girlfriends. I had the best time. It was so refreshing, more so than I had even expected.

I came home to a table set for dinner, kids playing peacefully, and a hubby making dinner for us. I almost thought I came home to the wrong house. HA!

I am refreshed. We all NEED this. I still need to figure out why we fight the opportunities to take care of ourselves. The time away is nourishing to ourselves and refreshing, allowing us to be better wives and moms for it. Sick child is on the mend, not totally herself, but better.

I am grateful for dear friends, for the dinner made for me again tonight. Hmmm how can I get this to stick??? I am grateful for my beautiful family, good soothing music, good birthday cake, and yes, even a bottle of good wine! I am most grateful that I no longer feel like a sucked out juice box! I hope this feeling lasts for awhile!

What refreshes you?

Condensed LOVE

I love the blog world. Funny thing that a few short years ago, blog, why they didn't even exist. Today, they have become part of my daily life.

A blog friend inspired me to make this blessing ring. I love it. I wrapped a binder ring with yellow ribbon on one side and turquoise ribbon printed with yellow sunshines on the other side. I now have a much prettier way to store the prayers, comforting words, and well wishes that have been shared with me over time.

Before the blessing ring, I just taped them to my front door. These words, penned by family, friends, and prayer warriors do nothing short of breathing sunshine into my parched soul and comforting a hurt from a place so deep within me. I need these words out in the open where they are visible and accessible at a moments notice. The blessing ring certainly allows for both and is able to accommodate more cards, messages, and notes at one time. Condensed LOVE.

I fully acknowledge the power of one little card. One little message. One little something...Remember a few posts ago when I mentioned ways to show broken hearted love with a hurting soul. These cards represent one way to do just that. Obviously these cards and messages have special meaning to me. I have saved every single one....from the beginning. I read them when they first arrived in my mailbox and I have reread them often ever since. Not a one has been tossed aside or ever forgotten. Another amazing thing about cards and message of the such is that you can read them whenever you want to or need to.

While this post began as a simple way to share a recent inspiration, it has grown to be an entry of deep gratitude for the prayers and support that have sustained us these last two years.

Hallmark is a good thing. Love isn't meant to only dwell within your heart, it is truly best when it is shared.

GO on...share some love. Share some today.

Loving This...

My word charm arrived in the mail. Have I told you how much I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE wearing it around my neck every day? It really does help me to be intentional about keeping my word ever present in my thoughts, which by the way, shapes the way we act.

For those of you following along on this One Little Word journey with me, I'd love it if you would share your own ideas for how you are keeping your word front and center in your every day lives. Here's where we can insprire, help, and encourage one another.

Superbowl

It is no surprise in our house that I am not a football fan. I can easily think of a million things that I would rather do than watch football on the television.

I do love the sense of community that sports can evoke a times. The team spirit and seeing everyone united about the same thing is wonderful.

What I do love is food and I especially like creating a menu that suits the occasion. I like having fun with food and trying out new

Today, I was inspired to make chili. A good friend has been telling me for awhile now about how much she loves to make white chicken chili. I'll admit that I was curious as I grew up eating more of a traditional version of chili. The next thing I knew, one of our Dinner Diva's made a White Chicken Chili that was really yummy. Recently an episode of Giada at Home was airing on the Food Network and guess what she made? Yep. White Chicken Chili. I was sold.

Here is the recipe. It is both a little different than I was expecting and delicious. I could not get my hands on Swiss chard so I ended up substituting Kale this time around. It was a hit with our family and I would definitely make it again. I did however make tacos as an alternative for the kids. One child was brave enough to try it at least and did like it. The other two preferred tacos tonight and that's okay too!

I made some cornbread that I bought at Target. I believe it was the Archer Farms brand and it was called Honey Cornbread. It too was delicious and I will admit to being a little picky about my cornbread. We ended up with a sweet, moist, cake- like consistency with this mix and that was a thumbs up in my book!

I do hope that everyone enjoyed the evening whether it was about the game, the time spent with folks that you care about, the food, or maybe all of the above.

LOVE

Love is all around.

Open your eyes and you will find it.

Yes, even in the most unexpected and unusual places.

Be open to the many faces of love, REAL love.

Be real. Be authentic. It will find you.

Let it in your heart.

Let it soften you.

Depth of Heart

My soul has struggled with so many things these last few days. Who am I kidding... I can't remember a time when I wasn't plagued with this heaviness. I have literally worn myself out. My thinker is going a mile a minute and my heart is unable to comprehend, that the answers it seeks, will not be found on this side of heaven. Between the two systems in overdrive, I am left in a place that is difficult to describe. I am grateful for each moment that I breathe and I am trying to live in the moment realizing that, this time embedded in today, is all I have been given. Yet, all at the same time, the weight and the gravity of this world has me on my knees and longing to sleep. Longing to sleep so I can DREAM of something else, something peaceful and of a place where life doesn't hurt so much. The two don't mix well. I have been here before and yet I still find it impossibly difficult to describe the wide range range of emotions that are battling within me, much less to cope with them all on a daily ongoing basis.


I began getting ready for this month by changing my playlist to incorporate some LOVE songs and to get in the mood for the season, but even those songs are too loud for me tonight. My soul is craving quiet and peace, something I continually seek. The music choice currently on the playlist somehow helps to encourage that sense of peace and helps me to relax a little. I can only hope that you enjoy it too!


My heart hurts deeply for those that suffer in this world. My response is filled with deep despair and then to dispense LOVE. It's all I really know.


Someone told me today that I have a big heart. I truly don't see any other way to live. I am challenged by the notion that it is not enough, not nearly enough. I wish there were a way to make these hurts go away but I know in my heart of hearts, that there isn't such a way. I am a different person now. I just can't stand where I am in the midst of my own life and and watch the suffering and hurt before me and choose do nothing at all. I must find a way to reach the hearts of the suffering, even if only to share with them that they are not alone and that someone cares. Sometimes it really is that simple folks, when you get down to the core. Those that suffer, they know that those around them are powerless to change their circumstances. Their hearts, why, they long to just be loved. That's all. That love, the love shared and given purely, propels you when you haven't the strength to go on by your own will. These examples of love shown by others in my own journey with Jeremy, are bubbling closest to the surface in my personal memory, so I speak of truth and of experience when I share this heartfelt message to you.


There is a child facing cancer, something no child should face in my opinion. After many months of treatment, her family has recently discovered that the cancer is ever present. The family and doctors are awaiting some further test results to determine the best course of future treatments, but it has been shared that is will most likely be experimental. The parents are awaiting a miracle to heal their daughter. They are filled with hope and also with great fear. The family has honestly discussed with their daughter and their other children the reality of the day to day situation. There was a recent and delicate conversation between mom and daughter. A conversation that has buckled me tonight. I do not pretend, even for a moment, to know the exact feelings of this family, as they are unique and special to this family. I can only relate my personal feelings knowing the journey that my own two feet have previously walked and the way that my heart has felt and continues to feel in the present time. I can only relate and respond with HEARTBROKEN LOVE.

The conversation:

The daughter says to her Mom, "I don't want to go without you Mom, I'll miss you too much." To which the Mom replies, "I don't want you to go without me either."

Two sentences.

Two sentences in time that have more gravity than most than I will ever know.

I tearfully have no words....seriously, what words could articulate the depth of that place? A place no mother ever imagined herself to be much less to walk with her her own flesh and blood, her child.

All I can say is that God IS in that place, right there in the midst of that pain, that suffering, and those questions to why? Why haven't you healed her? Why haven't you shown your power yet? I know these thoughts and questions, I am very familiar with them all. These are life changing events that rock you to the core and leave you forever changed. These circumstances leave you unrecognizable even to yourself. There are many circumstances that fit this bill...many who are reading this are filling in the blank with their own Plan B circumstance. Divorce. Financial distress, death, heath issues like diseases, disorders, and illnesses, the list is endless really.

This sweet girl, one child, one family, one heartfelt tragedy. That is enough. One in how many you ask? ONE TOO MANY!!!!! There are others. Sadly many others. I wish with all my heart that this wasn't the truth but it devastates me to write what you already know, this isn't one isolated story. Neither was ours. It is a sad reality that we face in our day to day world. What can we do about it? What does the bible say?

Wait for the Lord's help.
Be strong and brave and wait for the Lord's help
Psalms 27:14

I wait for the Lord to help me, and I trust his word.
Psalms 130:5

I find rest in God;
only he gives me hope.
He is my rock and my salvation.
He is my defender;I will not be defeated.
Psalms 62: 5-6

Pete Wilson says in his book, Plan B, that "whether we may frustrated, angry, tired, stressed, confused, and exhausted, we can simply collapse in the arms of our Heavenly Father where we can allow Him to fill us with His comfort. Rest in Him and allow Him to be our rock and fortress in this uncertain time. Rest in Him while we are waiting and let Him be our hope. "



What a beautiful image. Collapsing in the arms of our savior... It is this very place that I was able to release my child, my own flesh and blood. Why is this harder for me to do with myself?

I am not worthy but yet, none the less, ransomed and redeemed to this very place.

Pete goes on in his book to acknowledge those same questions that we face. He says:

"Hardly a day goes by that we don't witness a collision between these two realities. How can we reconcile these two unmixable components: a God of love who is all powerful and the universal experience of tragedy and suffering? Pete, just like us wonders if our finite minds are even capable of the real answers to that question. Pete reminds us that because of Jesus suffering is never the last word. We are promised that if we put our trust in God, there will be a day, when He will wipe every tear from our eyes, and there will be no more death, sadness, crying, or pain. Revelations 21:4.



Here is where Faith comes into play. A choice... Faith is saying that I believe in You God, more than this tragedy. I throw myself in utter dependence on You and in You alone, a God who specializes in resurrections, a God who brings hope to the hopeless, a God who is father to the fatherless, a God who is willing to send His only son to the cross to prove that He is more powerful than the worst thing that evil can do."

Romans 8 :18 assures that the sufferings that we face now are nothing compared to the great glory that will be shown to us. I know these can be hard words to comprehend in the midst of suffering. I live that challenge every day of my life. Which brings us to another example of the choice in where we place our faith. Pete reminds us that in that our faith is where God meets us, right there...right where life hurts the most. God offers us His presence, His comfort, and His assurance that He is all powerful and fully in control of the situation.

What else can we do?

LOVE...Love your nears and dears. Make today count. Do it now. Don't wait. Tomorrow has not arrived yet and none of us know for sure what it will bring. There are gifts and blessings that surround you each and every day. Perhaps they are so simple that they are taken for granted. Notice them. Slow down and see what is before your very eyes, with the perspective that it can ALL vanish in an instant. Live without regret. none

What else...

LOVE those that are suffering around you. You are not called to change the circumstance. You are not called to understand it ,to rationalize it. or to imagine it. You are not called to even begin to relate to it. All you need to do is LOVE them, the suffering, through it. You ARE equipped. Each of us is given exactly what we need, precisely at the right time when it is needed. DO It. DO it now...if your heart thinks it, consider it a a nudge from God and ACT on it. Make the call, send the card, click send on the email, make the meal, buy the chicken at Costco, MAKE LOVE A VERB, not a feeling kept to yourself in your own heart. I promise you, it is the right thing to do. It will make a greatest impact on the heart of the person in mind and also in you. Be prepared, you may not expect what happens to your soul as a result of this heartfelt response to others in need. It, in and of itself, is life changing.

I will tearfully close this message and hold on to my faith in a God that is bigger and more powerful than the suffering and troubling times that are within and surround me. I will hold onto my faith in a God that will make all things good, all things right, and perfect in His sight. I will hold onto Him and choose to LET GO of the things that are not mine to control and in turn embrace the OPPORTUNITY within each day to grow closer to the person that God created created me to be for HIS glory.

In the meantime, will you pray with me?

Dear God,

We humble ourselves before you tonight. Evil and troubling situations are in our midst. We ask Lord for Your mercy, Your grace, Your wisdom, and most importantly for Your will to be done in each and every circumstance that we bring before You. We ask you Lord, to fill us with Your presence. Grant us Lord Your peace and comfort knowing that You are already fully aware of these circumstances that trouble our hearts and minds. Fill us Lord with Your peace knowing that You are fully in control of these circumstances and that they will all be weaved together in Your time for the greater good and according to Your will. Oh Lord, our tender and fragile hearts cry out to you for your mercy upon those that suffer. Grant them your healing and your peace . Help them Lord to feel Your presence among them and help them to be unafraid of whatever this mortal life may offer, knowing that Your arms promise an eternity of all things made good and perfect in every way. Fill the voids Lord. Fill the emptiness. Fill ALL of the places where questions and fear are creating an ever growing space between You and Your sheep. Help our Faith to grow in those places instead, knowing that You are bigger than the troubles that we may be facing. We ask for Your intimate relationship with us Lord. You know and understand our hurts and pain Lord better than anyone . Teach us to turn to You first, for our strength and comfort in these times of strife. Help us to know Your love for us and to have the strength to share that very LOVE with those who may need it the most. We pray all these things in Your Name, Amen.

Hello February

Hello February.

You really snuck in quickly.

What will you bring?

I welcome your days full of things that have never been.

I will grasp onto to the love that is in the air.

I too will give love away...I will let my heart lead the way and trust that it is right.

I will receive love that is given to me.

I will embrace the opportunities that await me with the dawn of each day.