Blue Bows and Prayer Bracelets

There are so many topics on which I could write about on a daily basis. Stay awhile, visit often, there's a lot more to come!



Today I feel led to write about the issue that many have courageously brought to our attention face to face or indirectly through others that are close to us. The tears are flowing folks and my heart yearns to empty a little of my soul.



What should we do with the blue bows? Should we take them down? Should we leave them up? What should we do with the bracelets? Should we wear them? Should we take them off? I'll admit, there is no easy answer. It's personal.

The blue bracelets remind me of the power of prayer. Draw close to God, listen to him whisper to your soul. When I listen closely he tells me "Amy, I know you hurt. I collect and count each and every tear you shed. I am here and I will not forsake you. Jeremy is safe in my arms. You will see your son again in eternal life. You were chosen to be the mother of this special child for the period of time that I loaned him to you. I called him home and "received him", I did not take him from you. Jeremy had a purpose, he fulfilled it. In him was life, real life! You prayed for a miracle, many miracles happened. Maybe they weren't the ones that you had hoped and dreamed of, but my will was done. Amy, you gave me your trust, now see it through. Trust in my will and my ways. "

Now also know that while I know these things to be true in the core of my soul, as a human and as a mother, I also struggle to cope with the death of my son. So I continue to pray. I ask God to give me his peace and strength every day. He tells me to bring him my heart. He asks me to give him my anger, my doubts, my fears, my hurts, my WHATEVER. For in him and only in him, will I find the peace I need to live on without Jeremy. My life and what it holds in my lifetime is the destiny that God has chosen for me. Bring the rain. . . whatever it is to bring him glory. I am his vessel and he is my captain. If I follow his course, I will reach the destination that he has chosen for me. I too will soar the heavens someday with Jeremy and this life will all make sense.

I'll never look at a blue bow the same again! Scott and wish many times that we had thought to ask permission to walk in the Fourth of July parade with our children behind a banner covered in blue bows that read "Thank you!" As I am driving or walking within our community, I often have the desire to stop and knock on doors or enter the places of business to personally meet the Prayer Warriors who have fervently prayed for my son and for our family. The strength to follow through on that thought has not come yet. Please know my heart feels that desire but many of these times I am barely holding it together and cannot muster the strength to stop. Be forwarned, at any time, a strange lady with her children, may be at your door ready for a big hug and to say "Thanks". There has been a bag of blue bows that I think has traveled to many of the events held to support our family and to honor Jeremy. They have become tattered and torn and some don't hold their bow shape too well anymore. I still have these bows in my garage in a bag. What they represent is far more important that the actual bows themselves. They represent a community of Christians that have reached out to a fellow neighbor to say " We're praying, we're here, we've got your back, WHATEVER you need." These bows represent the magnitude of compassion and the true meaning of giving back. We have all learned, without Oprah, that we can all do something to help someone else in need, in very big and small ways. It shows what can and could be done when a community of people are bound together for a higher cause. The blue bows represent a visual reminder that life can change in a blink of an eye. It can happen to anyone at any time. Every part of your being can be erased in a second, without warning, and cannot be changed or reversed. This realization, caused people to evaluate their lives and gave them the push to make changes where needed or desired. These bows represent people who have drawn close to the Lord or have made a decision to get to know him and desire to have a relationship with him. These bows represent a baby, my son, who changed the world. We may never even fully know the ways in which his life has impacted the world and the ways in which others will their lives differently because of Jeremy's influence on them. One thing is for sure, Jeremy's influence, his "Rays of Sunshine" to us, will somehow help us all in some way, big or small, bring glory to our God. Jeremy's gift to us will live on forever and regenerate as each of us use what we have learned from him to live a richer and fuller life here on earth.

So to get back and answer the questions that I shared earlier, please do whatever you feel led to do in your heart. When the time comes, it will hurt to begin a new chapter. I know in my heart, that even after the bows have been taken down, after the bracelets have been taken off, after this intial time has passed and people have "moved" on with their lives, Jeremy will live on. His legacy will be here for you and I to remember always, for it has been permanently etched in our hearts.