Seven

Seven. Jeremy went to live with Jesus seven months ago. There are countless ways that our life had changed since then.

I could "sense" the date getting closer. It's strange but very true. The sun was shining bright that day and the sky was a beautiful color of blue. I was outside with my youngest playing in the yard. I sat down on one of the balls in the yard and started to pray. I prayed for God to heal my broken heart. When Jeremy was sick in the hospital there were countless times when we felt the presence of the Lord around us. I needed to feel that same presence and not just have blind faith. I selfishly asked him for a sign that he indeed was with me and that he heard my prayers. I also sought assurance that Jeremy was okay. After all, I am still just like all other Moms. I was checking in to see how he was doing. I know he is safe with Jesus in heaven but it was just like all of the other times when you are out and your kids are home with a great babysitter that you totally trust. It's just a Mom thing to check in. God was there... I did feel peace that moment.

It was definitely a hard day. Many memories and a broken heart. We went through a milestone experience with our oldest son and yet again faced the truth that we would never have that same moment with Jeremy. God was there at that moment. He gave me a way for Jeremy to be a part of that memory in a different way. It was amazing for me to see the way God worked that out for me.

Later, I was able to spend some "Jeremy Time"working on my Tissue fund. Let me explain.
I am a crier!! While Jeremy was at the hospital I can't begin to tell you how many boxes of tissues I used. Now don't get me wrong I was grateful for the tissues, every single box. The only thing was they weren't the best tissues. They were small, one ply, and scratchy. Those qualities just don't mix well with eyes that have unending tears, that are puffy, and irritated. The one ply didn't get me far either. I think there were times that I literally used the whole box in a matter of minutes just because they didn't absorb a thing. This is not meant to be a complaint. Again, I was grateful for the tissues that I was graciously given. Thank you.

It was there in the PICU that I made a promise to myself during those months. No matter how Jeremy's story ended, I would return to that unit with tissues in hand. Not just any tissues, but soft ones that could stand up to the tears that are shed in that place. So I've been at work. I've
shopped around looking for the best price. I need the pocket tissue packs. They are the most appropriate choice for various reasons. Most importantly, they can be carried around at all times. You move around a lot while your child is a patient in the PICU. These tissues can join you in your child's room, then to the many waiting rooms while procedures are being done, they can roam the halls with you as you update family and friends, stay in your pocket as you pray in front of the statue, and are always accessible no matter where you are. Life is certainly unpredictable there in the PICU. Anyway, I began contacting large chains of stores to see about ordering cases of these tissues. I have no insider information on paper supplies, I'm just a regular consumer looking for the best price. I want to get the largest amount of tissues for the best price to enable me to help the most families I can in the PICU. God was there at that moment too. The first store I called generously donated our first case of tissues. I was speechless to say the least. Needless to say, that was a hefty dose of sunshine for me that day!

So if you live in our area, be sure to stop in to Trader Joe's and thank Dan. I have always loved shopping at Trader Joe's but now they have a special place in my heart too. Thank you Trader Joe's for allowing me to have the opportunity to give back to such a great cause and to help so many families who need a little compassion in their lives right now. Your generosity will touch many hurting hearts just when they need it the most.

Oh Boy! Trader Joe's won't know what has hit them when all of Jeremy's Prayer Warriors show up in their store! :) (okay, so I've learned something new and I'll pass it along to all of you. See this little mark :) It's a smile if you look sideways. ) If you already knew that tidbit of knowledge, just ignore me as I learn to be more tech savvy! :)

This week has given me many moments that took my breath away and it takes awhile to recover. More to come later...stay tuned.

P.S. FYI the way these posts look on my page and the way they publish sometimes look totally different. If any of you out there know how to fix that, please let me know. Thanks.