Jeremy's First Birthday

Warning: Pull up a chair and get comfortable. This is a long post.



In some ways I was no different than so many other parents. Most won't admit it but there is a certain level of exhaustion that comes after the party is over and the birthday party was a success. I am not a Martha Stewart type that can pull everything together and make it seem effortless. I'll admit it, it is usually stressful and a lot of work. All of the planning and all of the excitement are definitely worth it to see the smile on your child's face on their birthday.


Jeremy's birthday was a success and was everything that I wanted it to be except for the fact that I wanted for him to be here himself to see it all. Somewhere in my soul, I know that he was here and he did see it. I hope that I made him proud.

We went shopping as a family and purchased gifts for Jeremy. That was a big relief. We enjoyed picking out gifts that we would have purchased for him but we donated them to the PICU. It was so endearing to see the children really put so much effort into their gift selections. Our oldest picked out a few movies that he thought the kids would like, our middle child picked out a yellow, fuzzy, soft blanket with giraffes all over it, and our youngest contributed his favorite lullaby CD. I found myself replacing some of the comfort items that Jeremy loved so much. I was relieved to be able to still shop for him and know that these gifts would help someone else, another child. I know these gifts will not erase the experience at the PICU but at least they may provide a smile or comfort them in some small way.



We of course visited Jeremy's grave and I was proud to remember flowers this time. I even found sunflowers in November. It was raining and bitter cold. I was angry. I wanted to stand there or sit there and just have a peaceful moment with him. I laughed a little knowing that Jeremy probably wanted it this way. He wouldn't want me to be standing there crying over his grave. He taught me that we have only been promised this very moment in time and to make the best of it, no matter what. He doesn't want me to waste so much time being sad all the time.


The next day we had the amazing privilege of being able to hold a blood drive in his memory. My grateful heart is overflowing. This is my grateful heart list. I do not intentionally mean to leave anyone or anything out. Please forgive me if an oversight is made. If an oversight happens, it is only in this posting not in our hearts.



We are grateful for the location that was made available to us to use for the blood drive. I am grateful for each of the prayer warriors who are employed at this location. You did a true act of kindness offering your space and allowing us to infringe a little on your time and usual routine. We hope that your space was returned to it's rightful condition.


We are grateful for the individual who helped us get the ball rolling on this blood drive back in September, secured the date, and took care of the details so I could focus on the meal that I was planning in October.


I am grateful for the Red Cross. Without this organization, these types of events could not take place. I am grateful for the individuals that made the blood units and products available for Jeremy when he needed it most.


I am thankful for the coordinator at the Red Cross who made the whole planning process so easy. I'll gladly do it again.


I am thankful for the Red Cross employees who took such good care of our prayers warrior donors!

There were well over 54 prayer warriors, scheduled to donate this time and then many walk in donors as well. What a gift! We collected 44 units of blood at this drive. The Red Cross said that to date over 150 units of blood and many other units of platelets have been donated in Jeremy's honor and memory . Each unit can help up to as many as three individuals. Can you imagine the lives that have been touched by this compassion? Even better, these units of blood have been covered in prayer. The individuals who will receive these units have been prayed for. . . ahh, the power of prayer! I am so grateful and thankful for each and every donor!!

I am grateful for the 12 first time donors. I admire each of you for your strength and willingness to be brave. I pray that you discovered the true gift that you gave to someone, a complete stranger, and felt a power in your soul knowing that your compassion and generosity gave someone a second chance at life. May you each find the desire in your hearts to donate again sometime soon. I also pray that you may inspire someone else to donate blood as well.

I am grateful for everyone's patience the day of the blood drive. There was a shortage of staff and then the master computer crashed. The Red Cross needed to call in and verify each donor's eligibility which really started to slow things down. I am grateful for the delivery of the new computer.

I am grateful for the donors who came and tried their best to donate but were unable for various reasons. We are grateful for your willingness to try and give blood. Perhaps, another time. If not, there are so many other ways to help others. Please do not be discouraged.

I am grateful for the donors that donated elsewhere at other locations, dates, and times, in honor and memory of Jeremy.

I am grateful for the countless sitters that watched children so that their parents could attend the blood drive.

I am grateful for the individual who donated hours of her time to call each and every donor with a reminder call the weekend before the blood drive. You have such a giving heart.


I am grateful for my Bake Sale coordinator. You are the SWEETEST person I know! Thanks for your hard work to make this aspect of the event such a success. Thanks for sacrificing over 12 hours of your time and family time to be such a great friend to us.



I am grateful for each and every baker, young and old! Without your donations, the bake sale would not have been possible! In addition, I have so many recipes to request! I feel a cookbook fundraiser bubbling to the surface!

I am grateful for each person that came to the event to shop at the bake sale. We raised over $800 for Jeremy's Foundation because of your generosity!

I am grateful for the opportunity to support the PICU in their efforts to make a difference in the lives of critically ill children and their families. I am grateful to have the power to do something positive in Jeremy's memory.

I am grateful for my sunshine team that visited the PICU that evening to spread some cheer and share some sweets.


I am grateful for our PICU family. You are never far from our hearts and I love that you welcome us with hugs and smiles each time we visit. We admire your courage and willingness to care for sick children and their families. You have a tough job but oh so rewarding. You make a difference in the world. Do you even know the impact that you each leave on the hearts of each and every patient and their families???


I am grateful for the individual at the hospital who will take the time to help me find ways to have a positive impact on the lives of others. I am grateful for the opportunity to honor Jeremy's memory.

I am grateful for Jeremy's pediatrician. You say that I am amazing, well you are amazing as well. I am humbled that you took the time to attend the blood drive and offer your support. You have had our backs this whole time and yet you continue to extend your compassionate heart to us in our many hours of need. Your support means so much to us, still. We are thankful to have you in our lives.



I am grateful for Jeremy's surgeon. I was so happy to see you and feel honored that you thought enough of us and Jeremy to take the time to attend this event. You will have a special place in our hearts forever. You have a precious gift. It is an honor to know you and watch the miracles that you have a part of every single day!

I am grateful for the creative individual who made a wreath using the blue bracelets. It was such a meaningful decoration and we will cherish it always. We had purchased 1000 bracelets and they were delivered the Friday before Jeremy passed away. I have held onto them for months and was unable to throw them away. However, I had no idea what to do with them. I am grateful for the time, creativity, and effort that this person put into making this tribute to Jeremy.

I am grateful for the individual who purchased pizza for everyone the night of the blood drive. Your kindness and generosity was appreciated. Many hungry tummies were filled thanks to you. You also kept countless individuals from passing out.

I am thankful for each and every soul that helped volunteer at the blood drive. We could not have done this without your help and support. Thank you for sacrificing hours with your families and friends to help us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.


I am grateful and humbled by the other PICU families that have been forever woven into our hearts. We may have walked those halls of the PICU together for a period of time but we are bound together for good. We thank you for supporting us and helping us out. We are eternally grateful for your support and love.



I am grateful for our family and dear friends that took such loving care of our other children throughout the day so we could devote our attention to the blood drive. We had no worries. . .



I am grateful for the generous donations of copies, babysitting hours, etc. You helped us give more to others who really need to feel love and compassion.

I am grateful for the prayer warriors that have continued to lift us up in prayer. Thank you for not letting us go, times are still tough and the pain is ever so great. Thank you for the many prayers said on behalf of a successful blood drive.



I am grateful to my husband for his unconditional love, support and patience. This journey is tough but we will reach our planned destination someday and our family will be reunited. I am grateful for our marriage and our ability to hold on, even when the waves of the storm would otherwise like to rip us apart.


I am grateful for my three children on this earth who still bring many smiles and joy to my heart every day. I am honored to be your mother. I promise to be grateful for each moment we can spend together as a family. We may be broken but we are still a family.


I am grateful for our extended family. Your unconditional love and understanding helps us continue to put one foot in front of the other, day after day. You haven't let us fall. . . Thank you for everything!


I am grateful for Jeremy. I am grateful for the happy memories and for your place in this family. Your life was a gift to so many, but especially to us, your family. I am grateful for the lessons that have been learned in so many aspects of life. I am grateful for the impact that you have and will continue to have on the lives of so many. You did it baby, you were a part of change in this world.


I am grateful for Jesus. I am grateful that you entrusted Jeremy to me, even if only for six short months. You have made everything in my life that is good, better and worthwhile and everything in my life that wasn't or isn't so good, bearable. You carry me when I cannot go on. NO matter where I am, you are by my side and you love me. I am thankful for what I have because of your presence in my life. I am thankful for the gift of my life and all the countless blessings that you have filled it with. I am grateful for your love and your promise to this world. Through this storm, while I still don't understand your ways, I will praise you.