One year ago... Did you notice the sunlight shining on Jeremy and only Jeremy?
Hind sight really is 20/20. I had no idea that just five days later my world would turn upside down.
Please pray, the pain is so great right now. I am hurting so deeply that I cannot put into words the pain that I feel. I miss him, all of him. My family hurts and our hearts have an empty space.
I don't want to remember the pain involved with going through the traffic up ahead. I have no choice...
3 comments:
Ok, I know I have been writing a lot more lately...but I also know that the Spirit has kept you in my mind a lot during the day. Which usually means you are having a rough time and needing more lifting up. Hopefully my constant chatter doesn't overwhelm you! I just couldn't pass up the nudging I received today. Too many little moments have come up over the past day, and earlier this week, that have brought me back to you...I had to share them.
I find it not coincidence, that as I drove home in a rush one day this week, my 3 year old pointed excitedly and said, "Orange sky!", at the sunset. I thought of your love for sunshine. I thought of you...I prayed for you.
I find it not coincidence, that every time I open your blog page, my daughter sees his picture and says, "Jeremy's with Jesus already!" I told her he was with Jesus...the already part was her own. I rejoice for him...and pray for you.
I find it not coincidence, as I drove down the street today I noticed through the gloomy rain, daffodils poking up through the soil. Spring is coming, they seemed to whisper. Tell her it's on the way! I thought of you..I prayed for you.
I find it not coincidence, as I waited at a stop light, I noticed some overgrown, dead brush..such an eyesore! Yet in the very middle, so close to the ground, sat a tiny bush with fresh buds coming forth. New life, the spirit whispered. There is new life on the way. I thought of your need for new life and renewal...I prayed for you.
I find it not coincidence, that EVERY time, not just a few times, but EVERY time I got in the car and turned on the radio today, a song from your playlist was playing. I thought of you...I prayed for you.
I find it not coincidence, the 5th time I got in the car, yet another song was playing, "Held". This time I cried for you, as well as another dear friend who played that very song at her precious baby's funeral. I fought back the anger and resentment as I began to sense that feeling of hope and God's presence drifting away. I started to ask Him why? Why did they go so young, Lord? He answered so clearly, "It was just time, dear one. It was just time." I thought of you...hurt for you...prayed for you, for peace.
I find it not coincidence, that even in my attempt to change the radio station to escape the barrage of songs that kept bringing reminders of the pain you are feeling, I still came back to 95.1. Again, not by coincidence, the song that played said this exact thing as soon as I tuned in, "There's a light at the end of this tunnel, there's a light at the end of this tunnel, for you, FOR YOU!" I thought of you....rejoiced for you...prayed for you to keep pushing on to that light.
Sweet warrior, I don't know why I keep coming back here. It is still something that I don't quite understand...especially since we have never met. The best I can figure to help make sense of it all is that God is speaking to my heart in efforts to reach yours. He knows you are with Him, He knows you hear Him, He knows you cling to Him. In this time, however, He wanted to make absolutely certain that you KNEW how much He cared for you. Why else would He take so much time out of ONE day of mine to ask me to pray for you? We are but strangers. Or are we? After all, we are sisters in Christ and will stand before His throne together one day. I guess He relies on us to care for one another. Who knows, maybe I'll need that strength of yours someday to lift my spirit when I am down. Whatever the reason may be, I can say only one thing....It's not by coincidence! Not even close!!
In our Father's love,
Julie
Dear Amy,
Our hearts ache for you-knowing that you are hurting so much and missing your precious child. We continue to pray for you, Scott and the children. We especially pray for you at this time as you enter the "traffic." We cannot grasp your pain, but we can continue to be your "prayer warriors". The love of God, the bond and love of your family and your committment to Faith will get you through the "traffic jam," and you will come out on the other side. God is with you, all of you and will be there with you all the way-he will shine light into your darkness. He'll also remind you that a Soul united in love will never die; Jeremy's soul is united with you, each one of you and that will never change.
Prayerfully,
Michele M.
Hi Amy,
I know your feelings well, as we're also coming up on our one year anniversary of landing in the ECMO/PICU at Hopkins. Maddie turned one on March 26th. When she was nine days old she was rushed to the hospital, and our pain began. Lives are never the same,but we try the best we can. I send you my positive energy in the next weeks.
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