Great Book
Great audio book
Touching story
Grab your tissues a hundred times story
Turns out to be a great movie too!
A favorite scene of mine, dare you ask?
Gloria: Listen... Opal... you cannot hold onto anything that wants to go. Do you understand what I'm sayin'? You just got to love it while you got it, and that's that.
That's that.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Oh So Grateful
We are grateful for many things here in our house. It is that attitude of gratitude that I am desperately trying to hold onto in these more painful of calendar days.
As Sara Mclachlan writes in her song Full of Grace, I feel like I am sinking and I am clawing for solid ground, I am being pulled down by the undertow... The waves are beginning to roll in and I see bigger ones in the horizon to come.
I was telling hubby tonight just how tired I am. It is emotionally draining doing this battle with grief on a regular basis. This time of year is especially hard.
There is also a place in me that is full of grace. This is the grace that sustains me when I feel as though I cannot keep it together. Grace for the moment. There have been the moments that I feel undone and then also the moments where I experience tender grace and gain strength to keep going to a place of peace. Some of you reading this are those that have been nudged to send a little encouragement my way in various ways in recent days. Thank you for following that nudge. Thank you for the outpouring of love that you have shown to me and my family.
I am grateful. I don't know what we would do without you all, each and every one of you.
To end with sunshine, I'll share a few of our other grateful moments from our family to yours.
I am grateful for my teacher. She makes learning cool. I really like the plays and projects that she creates for us to do.
I am grateful that I feel better.
I am grateful for nostalgic visits back to the good ole college days.
I am grateful that I could remember good times in my life...
I am grateful for my family amidst the daily challenges, all we are, we are!
I am grateful for yummy dinners.
I am grateful for friends and family who take care of us when we are in need.
I am grateful for yummy homemade cakes.
I am grateful for a heartlines from RM who called today. It made my day to hear from him. Of course what perfect timing!
I am grateful for a warm bed to sleep in.
All in all we have much to be thankful for...still. This list is just was uttered by my nears and dears tonight. The list continues on a daily basis. It doesn't take long to see the blessings in life waiting to be unwrapped. Even in the midst of great trial, there is always grace and love, evidence of how dearly loved I am, we are, and YOU are by our heavenly father. Amen.
As Sara Mclachlan writes in her song Full of Grace, I feel like I am sinking and I am clawing for solid ground, I am being pulled down by the undertow... The waves are beginning to roll in and I see bigger ones in the horizon to come.
I was telling hubby tonight just how tired I am. It is emotionally draining doing this battle with grief on a regular basis. This time of year is especially hard.
There is also a place in me that is full of grace. This is the grace that sustains me when I feel as though I cannot keep it together. Grace for the moment. There have been the moments that I feel undone and then also the moments where I experience tender grace and gain strength to keep going to a place of peace. Some of you reading this are those that have been nudged to send a little encouragement my way in various ways in recent days. Thank you for following that nudge. Thank you for the outpouring of love that you have shown to me and my family.
I am grateful. I don't know what we would do without you all, each and every one of you.
To end with sunshine, I'll share a few of our other grateful moments from our family to yours.
I am grateful for my teacher. She makes learning cool. I really like the plays and projects that she creates for us to do.
I am grateful that I feel better.
I am grateful for nostalgic visits back to the good ole college days.
I am grateful that I could remember good times in my life...
I am grateful for my family amidst the daily challenges, all we are, we are!
I am grateful for yummy dinners.
I am grateful for friends and family who take care of us when we are in need.
I am grateful for yummy homemade cakes.
I am grateful for a heartlines from RM who called today. It made my day to hear from him. Of course what perfect timing!
I am grateful for a warm bed to sleep in.
All in all we have much to be thankful for...still. This list is just was uttered by my nears and dears tonight. The list continues on a daily basis. It doesn't take long to see the blessings in life waiting to be unwrapped. Even in the midst of great trial, there is always grace and love, evidence of how dearly loved I am, we are, and YOU are by our heavenly father. Amen.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
On Angel's Wings...Four
Dearest Jeremy,
It is unimaginable to comprehend that you will be turning four this month. Four years old. Your mama couldn't be more proud of you and what your life represents to my little heart and beyond in this earthly world. Your mama heart also breaks when I think of all the things that just won't ever come to be in this lifetime here on earth.
I have been busy preparing for your birthday. It has been a difficult experience to describe. It pains me to buy things that would not normally be the case when one prepares for a four year old's birthday party but at the same time, it is the most healing way I know how, to experience this day, your birthday, in a healthy way. Tears stream down my face wishing for things to be different, but they aren't. All of the tears in the world won't change the fact that you are not here to share your birthday with me and your family in ways that I had imagined in a time once long ago.
The last few days have been so painful but I know your presence has been right by my side and for that I am most grateful. I have felt all the little ways that you have been a part of my day! Please forgive your mama for selfishly wanting more...Your daddy and I wonder about the things that would have been your favorites. What things would stand out as "Jeremy" in our family? This year, I wonder if it a blessing or a curse to really not know anything about you at all. I feel like I know the painful times of your life inside and out...and I am so desperate to know just the normal things that all mothers know about their children, the things that I didn't get the chance to learn about you. I want and I cannot have... How selfish of me. You are healed and happy where you are in heaven. I know if given the chance, that you would not choose to come to me here on this earth. That does comfort me...Imagining you happy is an amazing image, I only wish I could have experienced that here on earth with you. Good things come to those who wait.
I am at peace with the way that your birthday plans have been coming together. Having a plan for these really hard days, well that is half the battle.
Tissues have shown up in our earthy world twice today.Then again, you already knew that didn't you? Tears...and more tears...Remembrance and compassion. It sustains me when I am weak with the grief.
Sweet son, thank you for the love you have showed to your Mama on Angel's wings these last few days. I KNOW you are good, I just miss you with all that I am. My heart didn't miss a thing...Until we meet again, know that I love you forever and always.
Love,
Mommy
It is unimaginable to comprehend that you will be turning four this month. Four years old. Your mama couldn't be more proud of you and what your life represents to my little heart and beyond in this earthly world. Your mama heart also breaks when I think of all the things that just won't ever come to be in this lifetime here on earth.
I have been busy preparing for your birthday. It has been a difficult experience to describe. It pains me to buy things that would not normally be the case when one prepares for a four year old's birthday party but at the same time, it is the most healing way I know how, to experience this day, your birthday, in a healthy way. Tears stream down my face wishing for things to be different, but they aren't. All of the tears in the world won't change the fact that you are not here to share your birthday with me and your family in ways that I had imagined in a time once long ago.
The last few days have been so painful but I know your presence has been right by my side and for that I am most grateful. I have felt all the little ways that you have been a part of my day! Please forgive your mama for selfishly wanting more...Your daddy and I wonder about the things that would have been your favorites. What things would stand out as "Jeremy" in our family? This year, I wonder if it a blessing or a curse to really not know anything about you at all. I feel like I know the painful times of your life inside and out...and I am so desperate to know just the normal things that all mothers know about their children, the things that I didn't get the chance to learn about you. I want and I cannot have... How selfish of me. You are healed and happy where you are in heaven. I know if given the chance, that you would not choose to come to me here on this earth. That does comfort me...Imagining you happy is an amazing image, I only wish I could have experienced that here on earth with you. Good things come to those who wait.
I am at peace with the way that your birthday plans have been coming together. Having a plan for these really hard days, well that is half the battle.
Tissues have shown up in our earthy world twice today.Then again, you already knew that didn't you? Tears...and more tears...Remembrance and compassion. It sustains me when I am weak with the grief.
Sweet son, thank you for the love you have showed to your Mama on Angel's wings these last few days. I KNOW you are good, I just miss you with all that I am. My heart didn't miss a thing...Until we meet again, know that I love you forever and always.
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Gratitude
I learned awhile back to fill the broken pieces of my heart with gratitude. If I just keep thinking about the many things that I am grateful for in my life, then maybe I would not have time to think so much about the hurtful things that dwell in my soul.
Now that November is upon us, I am looking forward to the gratitude tree that finds a happy space on our kitchen table. I have been keeping a gratitude journal for awhile now but I also love the tree and the focus our family makes at dinner time to discuss the things that we are grateful for each day.
I am looking forward to the intentional time to seek gratitude. We need it now more than ever. I tell you it is life changing. Won't you try it with me?
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Unredeemed in 2011
Unredeemed-Selah
Click the song title to hear the song while you read. This version allows us the chance to hear a little bit about the song in the words of one of the band members, Todd Smith. It sounds like it was performed live. Oh, and scroll down to pause the blog music. :)
The cruelest world
The coldest heart
The deepest wound
The endless dark
The lonely ache
The burning tears
The bitter nights
The wasted years
Life breaks and falls apart
But we know these are
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed
For every choice that led to shame
And all the love that never came
For every vow that someone broke
And every lie that gave up hope
We live in the shadow of the fall
But the cross says these are all
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But you never know the miracle the Father has in store
Just watch and see
It will not be
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed
This song really spoke into my heart again today and I was sure grateful for the timing of when it was played. I heard this tender song just in time to hold those words close to my heart for when the pain was filling up to overflow. Click here to hear another version of this same song, this one sounds more like the one from the recording studio. Both tender in their own way...
Me in overflow? Imagine that!
I will watch and see... and in the mean time, I will cling to the one who can redeem it ALL.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Making History
It has been 100 years since it snowed in October where we live.
I have mixed thoughts about this weather today.
On one hand it is cool to have something happen that is so rare and unusual. Watching the snow fall to the ground is always a peaceful thought.On the other hand, I feel like winter is heading in and will take over without those warm fall weather days ever happening.
All and all, it just looks bizarre to have snow falling against the backdrop of autumn colors. To top it all off, I do not have a picture to share!
Oddly enough, our dinner conversation centered around a life lived in the Southern sunshine.
I have mixed thoughts about this weather today.
On one hand it is cool to have something happen that is so rare and unusual. Watching the snow fall to the ground is always a peaceful thought.On the other hand, I feel like winter is heading in and will take over without those warm fall weather days ever happening.
All and all, it just looks bizarre to have snow falling against the backdrop of autumn colors. To top it all off, I do not have a picture to share!
Oddly enough, our dinner conversation centered around a life lived in the Southern sunshine.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Mosiac Tiles
Mosiacs.
These are some pretty cool works of art. Each tile, while different and unique, works together with many other tiles and makes a rather beautiful piece of art.
I feel like a mosaic most days of my life. I am filled with deep and profound emotion that spans both extremes of the spectrum and everything in between. It is the most bizarre feeling to feel such a wide range of emotion all at once. It is exhausting I tell you.
Sometimes I laugh at myself and wonder which tile is winning each day? When one of those bumpy tiles starts to take center stage for attention, my initial reaction is to try so hard to surround it with the smooth, polished, beautiful stones. Finding Sunshine. That surely works some of the time. However, lately, I am also finding it better to just be still with the tile that is shattered, broken, rough around the edges, and imperfect. I am labyrinthing through yet another phase of my grief that was just too painful to deal with earlier in my journey. Acknowledgement and acceptance, again. I have also given up the hope that since I know what to expect, it will hurt less, because that simply stated isn't true. I am working hard to remember that this one tile or group of broken tiles, do not define ALL that I am. They are indeed part of me and always will be, I am forever changed. I am more that the brokenness, even when I can't see beyond it. There are beautiful, smooth, polished, admirable stones there too. Each mosaic tile/stone working together to make me the person that I am today. I can only hope that while I feel utterly messed up and all over the place, that someone out there appreciates the beauty in what I have become to date on each day. God does. That is enough. It should be enough. Funny how the one person that I crave that grace from the most is myself. Why do we as humans crave more in our flesh? I am accountable to one and only one.
I felt the clouds slowly rolling in but now I know for sure that I feel their density above me. One day at a time. Here we go. Reminder to self... be sure and restock my tissue supply and to also switch back over to waterproof mascara!
These are some pretty cool works of art. Each tile, while different and unique, works together with many other tiles and makes a rather beautiful piece of art.
I feel like a mosaic most days of my life. I am filled with deep and profound emotion that spans both extremes of the spectrum and everything in between. It is the most bizarre feeling to feel such a wide range of emotion all at once. It is exhausting I tell you.
Sometimes I laugh at myself and wonder which tile is winning each day? When one of those bumpy tiles starts to take center stage for attention, my initial reaction is to try so hard to surround it with the smooth, polished, beautiful stones. Finding Sunshine. That surely works some of the time. However, lately, I am also finding it better to just be still with the tile that is shattered, broken, rough around the edges, and imperfect. I am labyrinthing through yet another phase of my grief that was just too painful to deal with earlier in my journey. Acknowledgement and acceptance, again. I have also given up the hope that since I know what to expect, it will hurt less, because that simply stated isn't true. I am working hard to remember that this one tile or group of broken tiles, do not define ALL that I am. They are indeed part of me and always will be, I am forever changed. I am more that the brokenness, even when I can't see beyond it. There are beautiful, smooth, polished, admirable stones there too. Each mosaic tile/stone working together to make me the person that I am today. I can only hope that while I feel utterly messed up and all over the place, that someone out there appreciates the beauty in what I have become to date on each day. God does. That is enough. It should be enough. Funny how the one person that I crave that grace from the most is myself. Why do we as humans crave more in our flesh? I am accountable to one and only one.
I felt the clouds slowly rolling in but now I know for sure that I feel their density above me. One day at a time. Here we go. Reminder to self... be sure and restock my tissue supply and to also switch back over to waterproof mascara!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Beef...It's What's For Dinner/ PW Style
The Pioneer Woman rocks! I love her blog, her cookbooks, her love story book, photography, and even her new Food Network Show. Do you know the Pioneer Woman? No? Go and check out her blog NOW! You won't regret it!
A few friends of mine and I have been exchanging conversations about Ree (PW) and her recipes for some time now. I have been meaning to try one of her beef recipes for months and months. Tonight was the night to make that happen. Easy, delicious, and healthy, Amen! You were right Jen, it really was easy and delicious! Go here and read all about Pioneer Woman's Beef and Snow Peas. Be warned, you will be hungry after looking at her pictures of this entree. After looking at the pictures, you will be dreamy of making this recipe for your family. I encourage you to do just that!
I'll be off putting the leftovers away, no not eating them. Not me.
Oh, and also be warned that once you visit Ree's blog and get to know her a bit, you will be returning to that very blog again and again.
A few friends of mine and I have been exchanging conversations about Ree (PW) and her recipes for some time now. I have been meaning to try one of her beef recipes for months and months. Tonight was the night to make that happen. Easy, delicious, and healthy, Amen! You were right Jen, it really was easy and delicious! Go here and read all about Pioneer Woman's Beef and Snow Peas. Be warned, you will be hungry after looking at her pictures of this entree. After looking at the pictures, you will be dreamy of making this recipe for your family. I encourage you to do just that!
I'll be off putting the leftovers away, no not eating them. Not me.
Oh, and also be warned that once you visit Ree's blog and get to know her a bit, you will be returning to that very blog again and again.
Friday, October 21, 2011
The Very Quiet Cricket-Or Not
A cricket has found a home it would behind our dishwasher. It's lovely music, while appreciated on a quiet evening streaming though the window screen or perhaps even to another cricket, is not so appreciated inside our home. This particular cricket had quite a song to sing, ALL NIGHT LONG! The cricket sang so loud and it's song echoes through our kitchen and right up the stairs to our bedroom. Oh my! We are sleep deprived this morning for sure! I am chuckling a bit as I am writing this because this cricket doesn't even seem to care that I have turned on the lights and am up and moving around this morning. Most crickets would be quiet now, not wanting to be found, discovered, and caught! It's almost as if it really has something to say!
Speaking of kitchens, we are looking to replace some of our appliances very soon. Do you love your refrigerator, stove, or dishwasher? If so, can you please share with me the make and model? I am feeling rather overwhelmed by all of the choices currently available and would appreciate a first hand review. I think we may have narrowed down our choices of refrigerators to some degree. So many choices...
The oven, well that is another story all together. Standard oven or convection? Convection you say, well then do you want a dual temperature oven? How often might one really use these conveniences? These options significantly alter the price quite a bit!
To say that all appliances run with the basic technology is understood, it's all the rest of the stuff that is overwhelming. Color choices, refrigerator styles, the sizes, the bells and whistles, which in my opinion, are just one more thing that will break and cause trouble. I prefer simplicity but also appreciate the modern technology that is available. AHHH. Some would think this process is fun. I am wishing to make a wise investment and to end up loving what is installed in my kitchen. I love to cook. I love spending time in my kitchen and I want these appliances to enhance that experience and not take away from my joy. I really don't want another thing that I just stubbornly have to learn to love.
Please help. Perhaps I will sleep more peacefully without the visions of appliances running through my mind, all dancing in time to the song played by my most favorite cricket. :)
Speaking of kitchens, we are looking to replace some of our appliances very soon. Do you love your refrigerator, stove, or dishwasher? If so, can you please share with me the make and model? I am feeling rather overwhelmed by all of the choices currently available and would appreciate a first hand review. I think we may have narrowed down our choices of refrigerators to some degree. So many choices...
The oven, well that is another story all together. Standard oven or convection? Convection you say, well then do you want a dual temperature oven? How often might one really use these conveniences? These options significantly alter the price quite a bit!
To say that all appliances run with the basic technology is understood, it's all the rest of the stuff that is overwhelming. Color choices, refrigerator styles, the sizes, the bells and whistles, which in my opinion, are just one more thing that will break and cause trouble. I prefer simplicity but also appreciate the modern technology that is available. AHHH. Some would think this process is fun. I am wishing to make a wise investment and to end up loving what is installed in my kitchen. I love to cook. I love spending time in my kitchen and I want these appliances to enhance that experience and not take away from my joy. I really don't want another thing that I just stubbornly have to learn to love.
Please help. Perhaps I will sleep more peacefully without the visions of appliances running through my mind, all dancing in time to the song played by my most favorite cricket. :)
Thursday, October 13, 2011
A Clean Heart
My agenda this morning included cleaning our home. My area of focus was purposed to clean the kitchen and downstairs bathroom. These areas really needed a good clean.
Now, I am the mother of (three) little boys and a wife of a big guy too. Those of you that only have girls can either laugh and dismiss what I am about to reveal. Those of you that have boys, you know what I am talking about! Boys have this part of their body, which one would think, would make it easier to control the stream of urine that is output from their bodies. Well, this is just simply not necessarily true. Getting the urine to go where it is intended to go without going anywhere else is a learned, trained, and very long process to achieve successfully. At least this is true in our house. I pray that those of you that have boys will back me up a little on this please! And on a side note, if you have any tricks in this department that have worked in your house, send them my way!
So, on this rainy Thursday, while everyone else is gone from our little house, I began to tackle the job of cleaning this area of my home. I was armed with my cleaning products and I had begun the first part of cleaning the bathroom. I had quite the task ahead of me on this particular day. Perhaps life had kept us so busy on the spin cycle that I didn't realize just how dirty my home had really become. As I began this huge task, I thought to myself, "Wow, I have really overlooked the nooks and crannies of where these droplets of urine hide!" I know this is disgusting but bear with me. I started to clean the toilet with usual tools and cleaning products. I was not satisfied with the results so far. So next, I got a bigger and more powerful tool, the trusty old toothbrush. I start scrubbing into the areas that I just simply couldn't reach with the gloves,toilet brush, cleaner, paper towels, and other items that I was using. It was like magic, the yuck started coming clean and before I knew it the bathroom was much cleaner and pleasing to my eyes once again. Not to mention de-germed! All of those little spots where the urine had been hiding were once again clean. That's when it hit me. Well, God hit me with one of His lessons of love.
I know, some of you reading this must think that I am a little abnormal by now. I don't care. I mean who speaks of lessons using toilets and pee? Really? You see, when you invite God into your heart and you have a relationship with him on a daily basis, this is what He does. God shows up and uses all kinds of ways to get after your heart. He uses ways that you and I would otherwise not even think of in terms of human to human relationships. So yeah. God used my cleaning hour to pull up his chair and to offer me a little heart to heart time. I find, more and more, that when my heart is open to his voice, He surely enlightens me to his wisdom on things in my earthly life. I always walk away from these experiences with such peace and also with a lift in spirit so high that I wonder how it is I would ever function here on this earth without Him in my life. I just love when God does that.
My heart has been going through the valleys again lately with various things in my life. I am human. I am weak in the flesh of my body. I can see signs where I have grown more emotionally intelligent over time with the way I seek comfort from the pain in my heart and soul. After all, this has been a slow process and has taken years to get to this point in my life. I have also reacted to the stress in similar ways as most of people, by allowing the hustle bustle of life to be that distraction. In addition, I have also done what I have done before, I have kept it all bottled up inside without sharing a word with anyone, not even God. I have surely prayed over these very situations and on behalf of some very special and dear folks that are truly in desperate need of prayer. I have petitioned our Lord for healing, for peace in the hearts of many, for the answers/way out from circumstances to be shown, etc. I have given thanks and praise for both answered prayers and also for the daily gifts and blessings that are in my everyday life. Here is what I haven't done. I failed to come to our Lord to ask for his protection to guard my heart against the things of this world. I failed to ask for his peace, strength, and wisdom, especially to see the things that I do have the power to change and what I do not, you know like that good old Serenity prayer. So while I feel good about my prayer time on behalf of others, I sometimes forget to ask God to also include protection over my own heart. A part of me felt selfish really but I have since discovered that I need to include that prayer.
We live in a world where bad things are happening all around us to really good folks. One can wonder when is trouble going to arrive at my doorstep next? I wonder sometimes when the next really bad thing will happen again? This is surely no way to live. The circumstances around us that we see others face and suffer through can consume us all with fear if you look around enough. Fear is not from God. It is something He does not want for us to feel. I need to get more into the practice of emptying the burdens that I carry in my heart and trying harder to leave them there at the foot of the cross. I need not take away from that prayer time the helplessness that I have been. I am not always powered with the tools for change circumstances aroudn me, but I am always powered with the ability to love, and to show that love to others in my path of life. When following that call to love, amazing things can and do always happen!
I have continued to seek the answers to the "Why's" of this life and that question is almost never a good question to wrestle with in one's soul. I have not come before him to fully empty my heart from the "Filth" of this world. I have not fully trusted my hurts to God for him to take care and have control. On the contrary, I have attempted to do that all on my own. One would think that I would have learned by now. I have chosen to approach this weakness of my flesh almost as if, I am saying, if I just stay busy enough, I just won't have to think about it. Right now in the present time, that might work for awhile, but guess what, those feelings are really just pooling up and collecting one another in the distraction of everyday life. It doesn't work in the long run. These feelings if left, will find you and creep up on you. When they they are left still and dormant in your heart and deep within your soul, they will creep back to gain your full attention at some point later in time. When they do, they will have grown in power and will have taken over more places of your heart where God wants only peace to reside.
As I was cleaning, I was reminded that God has all the tools needed to clean up my heart. Even my best tools and cleaning products if you will, pale in comparison to what He is capable of. He has that little toothbrush thing that can reach far beyond measure where I as a human soul can go. Why do I try to handle the things of this world all on my own, time and time again? Why do I think that I can handle it all by myself instead of turning it All over to Him on a continual basis? God loves me so much that He took time to teach me or gently remind me of His supernatural power while I was scrubbing a toilet of all things. God reminded me that He loves me and wants to help me. What He wants most is that intimate relationship with me. And you too, for that matter. He wants us to bring the trivial things and the big things of our life to Him and often. God wants nothing more than to impart His wisdom and His cleaning tools and cleaners upon us if we would just let him. You know he doesn't promise us that by cleaning with us, that he will take away that painful circumstance that we face. What does he promise? He promises that he already knows the beginning, the middle and the end of the story. He promises good things to come to those who believe in him. He promises that the things of this world are falling but His Kingdom that He has created for us, is pure and without the pain from this world. He promises that as we must face difficult times on this earth that He will be with us always, to love us. If we invite His presence, He will impart to us His is supernatural cleaning products and tools to help guide our way. God will provide us with our needs just at the right time. I have seen this happen so many times. Just when we thought as humans we had reached the end of the road or were at a stopping point, God came in with a whole other plan in mind and made a way for things to happen that were not otherwise possible.
Next, I moved onto the kitchen and there were some stubborn places on the walls and the floor too for that matter. Have you ever used a Magic Eraser? I love that tool. You know what, I guess looking back, God thought I was being stubborn headed on this particular morning. He hit me with a second dose. He gently showed me that He can get into places in my heart that are so closed off to the rest of this world. He can get into the places of my heart that I don't want anyone to see. The best part is, that when He gets there, to those ugly, dark places of my heart, the ones that I worked so hard to protect, the ones where I have failed in my own human efforts to clean up, those places where the nooks and crannies hide far away from where I want others to see, He sees them, and He loves me anyway. Did you catch that? God loves me anyway, even with all of my dirt! God has just the thing that I need to clean my heart and make it pure. When I clean up this heart, then there is room for peace. Yes, the very thing that I am trying to create by doing things my way. This true and real peace can really only be found in God. You see He has tools for each and every one my problems in life. He has tools that little me knows nothing about. God has tools that I cannot even see, like my toothbrushes and magic erasers. Remembering how simple my cleaning became with the right tools, I was reminded to seek God and allow Him to choose the right tools for the job in my prayer time.
I am certainly not suggesting in any way that when you seek a relationship with God through some of the most difficult times in life, that the difficult issue will just get cleaned right up, go away, and be resolved. Yes, God can and does do that sometimes. He has done just that time and time again. We have all heard these inspiring stories of how God made miracles happen here on earth right before our eyes. Jeremy's story is proof that sometimes, the answers that we seek in this life, that healing, or resolution that we seek, is just not found on this side of heaven. Sometimes, the answers aren't the answers that we want so desperately in our own hearts. Sometimes that cleaning process, even with His tools, still hurts deep down to the very core of your soul. It can rock your understanding and faith as you know it, but hold on to Him most at that point, the cleaning, is in process. I do know without a doubt that when God's will does not align with our own desires, it does not mean that He does not love us or that he did not hear the pleas and cries of our heart. One day, this whole story will be shown to us and we will see how God worked it all together for our greater good. God sees All things where as we see a limited perspective. God is weaving together the masterpiece of our lives. I am here, still hurting, still in disbelief that this really happened to me, still seeking the answers to the WHY?, still missing my sweet baby, still praying for resolution to my hurts, still lacking the understanding desired, and still broken in many places. I am also still in process and under all of that hurt, I know that I am still loved. I know and feel God's presence in my life everyday. I choose to trust that if He loves me this much, then He does have my best interests at heart, even when what I see with my human eyes doesn't make any sense or is painful to see. I will choose to trust that one day I will see how these events have all had their purpose to fulfill and that the outcome of that purpose was for good.
So today I learned that we just need to use the right tools for the jobs of life. For me, using the right tools for the jobs means that I need to empty my whole heart before God more often and not let the nooks and crannies grow into big ugly places that begin to take over my thoughts in ways that are harmful to me. When I turn to God with my whole heart, He will empower me with the right tools for the job. If nothing else, He will impart His peace over me. When the yuck areas of my heart are all cleaned out and purified, they are then protected from evil. These areas will not grow and fester into areas of fear and doubt.
Dear Lord,
I am humbled before you and give all the praise to you for the lesson in love that you showed me today as I was cleaning. While I could see earthly dirt, you were working on my heart so that I could see things from a whole different perspective. You want to show me things that without your presence I would not otherwise see and understand of this world. You Lord, have all the tools that I need to survive and thrive in this fallen world. How much simpler my life would be if I would only trust in you to work things out for my greater good. I ask you to be with me and continue to lead me and guide me along the path of your will for my life. I invite your presence to fill my heart and soul to fulfill your will within each and every day that I am gifted and blessed to live on this earth. I wish to lead a life that brings glory to your name and one that seeks to turn other hearts toward your eternal kingdom where we can live with you Lord in the perfect and pure place that you have created for us all.
Amen
Funny, I will no longer feel disgust when I see the urine in places on our toilets from time to time. Instead, I will choose to remember this love lesson from my heavenly Father delivered straight to my heart on this rainy Thursday. When I see urine I will think of the filth in my heart and I will remind myself that with the help of God, I can release it all and allow him to create in a me clean heart, one equipped to love, to serve, and to be filled with his divine peace.
Now, I am the mother of (three) little boys and a wife of a big guy too. Those of you that only have girls can either laugh and dismiss what I am about to reveal. Those of you that have boys, you know what I am talking about! Boys have this part of their body, which one would think, would make it easier to control the stream of urine that is output from their bodies. Well, this is just simply not necessarily true. Getting the urine to go where it is intended to go without going anywhere else is a learned, trained, and very long process to achieve successfully. At least this is true in our house. I pray that those of you that have boys will back me up a little on this please! And on a side note, if you have any tricks in this department that have worked in your house, send them my way!
So, on this rainy Thursday, while everyone else is gone from our little house, I began to tackle the job of cleaning this area of my home. I was armed with my cleaning products and I had begun the first part of cleaning the bathroom. I had quite the task ahead of me on this particular day. Perhaps life had kept us so busy on the spin cycle that I didn't realize just how dirty my home had really become. As I began this huge task, I thought to myself, "Wow, I have really overlooked the nooks and crannies of where these droplets of urine hide!" I know this is disgusting but bear with me. I started to clean the toilet with usual tools and cleaning products. I was not satisfied with the results so far. So next, I got a bigger and more powerful tool, the trusty old toothbrush. I start scrubbing into the areas that I just simply couldn't reach with the gloves,toilet brush, cleaner, paper towels, and other items that I was using. It was like magic, the yuck started coming clean and before I knew it the bathroom was much cleaner and pleasing to my eyes once again. Not to mention de-germed! All of those little spots where the urine had been hiding were once again clean. That's when it hit me. Well, God hit me with one of His lessons of love.
I know, some of you reading this must think that I am a little abnormal by now. I don't care. I mean who speaks of lessons using toilets and pee? Really? You see, when you invite God into your heart and you have a relationship with him on a daily basis, this is what He does. God shows up and uses all kinds of ways to get after your heart. He uses ways that you and I would otherwise not even think of in terms of human to human relationships. So yeah. God used my cleaning hour to pull up his chair and to offer me a little heart to heart time. I find, more and more, that when my heart is open to his voice, He surely enlightens me to his wisdom on things in my earthly life. I always walk away from these experiences with such peace and also with a lift in spirit so high that I wonder how it is I would ever function here on this earth without Him in my life. I just love when God does that.
My heart has been going through the valleys again lately with various things in my life. I am human. I am weak in the flesh of my body. I can see signs where I have grown more emotionally intelligent over time with the way I seek comfort from the pain in my heart and soul. After all, this has been a slow process and has taken years to get to this point in my life. I have also reacted to the stress in similar ways as most of people, by allowing the hustle bustle of life to be that distraction. In addition, I have also done what I have done before, I have kept it all bottled up inside without sharing a word with anyone, not even God. I have surely prayed over these very situations and on behalf of some very special and dear folks that are truly in desperate need of prayer. I have petitioned our Lord for healing, for peace in the hearts of many, for the answers/way out from circumstances to be shown, etc. I have given thanks and praise for both answered prayers and also for the daily gifts and blessings that are in my everyday life. Here is what I haven't done. I failed to come to our Lord to ask for his protection to guard my heart against the things of this world. I failed to ask for his peace, strength, and wisdom, especially to see the things that I do have the power to change and what I do not, you know like that good old Serenity prayer. So while I feel good about my prayer time on behalf of others, I sometimes forget to ask God to also include protection over my own heart. A part of me felt selfish really but I have since discovered that I need to include that prayer.
We live in a world where bad things are happening all around us to really good folks. One can wonder when is trouble going to arrive at my doorstep next? I wonder sometimes when the next really bad thing will happen again? This is surely no way to live. The circumstances around us that we see others face and suffer through can consume us all with fear if you look around enough. Fear is not from God. It is something He does not want for us to feel. I need to get more into the practice of emptying the burdens that I carry in my heart and trying harder to leave them there at the foot of the cross. I need not take away from that prayer time the helplessness that I have been. I am not always powered with the tools for change circumstances aroudn me, but I am always powered with the ability to love, and to show that love to others in my path of life. When following that call to love, amazing things can and do always happen!
I have continued to seek the answers to the "Why's" of this life and that question is almost never a good question to wrestle with in one's soul. I have not come before him to fully empty my heart from the "Filth" of this world. I have not fully trusted my hurts to God for him to take care and have control. On the contrary, I have attempted to do that all on my own. One would think that I would have learned by now. I have chosen to approach this weakness of my flesh almost as if, I am saying, if I just stay busy enough, I just won't have to think about it. Right now in the present time, that might work for awhile, but guess what, those feelings are really just pooling up and collecting one another in the distraction of everyday life. It doesn't work in the long run. These feelings if left, will find you and creep up on you. When they they are left still and dormant in your heart and deep within your soul, they will creep back to gain your full attention at some point later in time. When they do, they will have grown in power and will have taken over more places of your heart where God wants only peace to reside.
As I was cleaning, I was reminded that God has all the tools needed to clean up my heart. Even my best tools and cleaning products if you will, pale in comparison to what He is capable of. He has that little toothbrush thing that can reach far beyond measure where I as a human soul can go. Why do I try to handle the things of this world all on my own, time and time again? Why do I think that I can handle it all by myself instead of turning it All over to Him on a continual basis? God loves me so much that He took time to teach me or gently remind me of His supernatural power while I was scrubbing a toilet of all things. God reminded me that He loves me and wants to help me. What He wants most is that intimate relationship with me. And you too, for that matter. He wants us to bring the trivial things and the big things of our life to Him and often. God wants nothing more than to impart His wisdom and His cleaning tools and cleaners upon us if we would just let him. You know he doesn't promise us that by cleaning with us, that he will take away that painful circumstance that we face. What does he promise? He promises that he already knows the beginning, the middle and the end of the story. He promises good things to come to those who believe in him. He promises that the things of this world are falling but His Kingdom that He has created for us, is pure and without the pain from this world. He promises that as we must face difficult times on this earth that He will be with us always, to love us. If we invite His presence, He will impart to us His is supernatural cleaning products and tools to help guide our way. God will provide us with our needs just at the right time. I have seen this happen so many times. Just when we thought as humans we had reached the end of the road or were at a stopping point, God came in with a whole other plan in mind and made a way for things to happen that were not otherwise possible.
Next, I moved onto the kitchen and there were some stubborn places on the walls and the floor too for that matter. Have you ever used a Magic Eraser? I love that tool. You know what, I guess looking back, God thought I was being stubborn headed on this particular morning. He hit me with a second dose. He gently showed me that He can get into places in my heart that are so closed off to the rest of this world. He can get into the places of my heart that I don't want anyone to see. The best part is, that when He gets there, to those ugly, dark places of my heart, the ones that I worked so hard to protect, the ones where I have failed in my own human efforts to clean up, those places where the nooks and crannies hide far away from where I want others to see, He sees them, and He loves me anyway. Did you catch that? God loves me anyway, even with all of my dirt! God has just the thing that I need to clean my heart and make it pure. When I clean up this heart, then there is room for peace. Yes, the very thing that I am trying to create by doing things my way. This true and real peace can really only be found in God. You see He has tools for each and every one my problems in life. He has tools that little me knows nothing about. God has tools that I cannot even see, like my toothbrushes and magic erasers. Remembering how simple my cleaning became with the right tools, I was reminded to seek God and allow Him to choose the right tools for the job in my prayer time.
I am certainly not suggesting in any way that when you seek a relationship with God through some of the most difficult times in life, that the difficult issue will just get cleaned right up, go away, and be resolved. Yes, God can and does do that sometimes. He has done just that time and time again. We have all heard these inspiring stories of how God made miracles happen here on earth right before our eyes. Jeremy's story is proof that sometimes, the answers that we seek in this life, that healing, or resolution that we seek, is just not found on this side of heaven. Sometimes, the answers aren't the answers that we want so desperately in our own hearts. Sometimes that cleaning process, even with His tools, still hurts deep down to the very core of your soul. It can rock your understanding and faith as you know it, but hold on to Him most at that point, the cleaning, is in process. I do know without a doubt that when God's will does not align with our own desires, it does not mean that He does not love us or that he did not hear the pleas and cries of our heart. One day, this whole story will be shown to us and we will see how God worked it all together for our greater good. God sees All things where as we see a limited perspective. God is weaving together the masterpiece of our lives. I am here, still hurting, still in disbelief that this really happened to me, still seeking the answers to the WHY?, still missing my sweet baby, still praying for resolution to my hurts, still lacking the understanding desired, and still broken in many places. I am also still in process and under all of that hurt, I know that I am still loved. I know and feel God's presence in my life everyday. I choose to trust that if He loves me this much, then He does have my best interests at heart, even when what I see with my human eyes doesn't make any sense or is painful to see. I will choose to trust that one day I will see how these events have all had their purpose to fulfill and that the outcome of that purpose was for good.
So today I learned that we just need to use the right tools for the jobs of life. For me, using the right tools for the jobs means that I need to empty my whole heart before God more often and not let the nooks and crannies grow into big ugly places that begin to take over my thoughts in ways that are harmful to me. When I turn to God with my whole heart, He will empower me with the right tools for the job. If nothing else, He will impart His peace over me. When the yuck areas of my heart are all cleaned out and purified, they are then protected from evil. These areas will not grow and fester into areas of fear and doubt.
Dear Lord,
I am humbled before you and give all the praise to you for the lesson in love that you showed me today as I was cleaning. While I could see earthly dirt, you were working on my heart so that I could see things from a whole different perspective. You want to show me things that without your presence I would not otherwise see and understand of this world. You Lord, have all the tools that I need to survive and thrive in this fallen world. How much simpler my life would be if I would only trust in you to work things out for my greater good. I ask you to be with me and continue to lead me and guide me along the path of your will for my life. I invite your presence to fill my heart and soul to fulfill your will within each and every day that I am gifted and blessed to live on this earth. I wish to lead a life that brings glory to your name and one that seeks to turn other hearts toward your eternal kingdom where we can live with you Lord in the perfect and pure place that you have created for us all.
Amen
Funny, I will no longer feel disgust when I see the urine in places on our toilets from time to time. Instead, I will choose to remember this love lesson from my heavenly Father delivered straight to my heart on this rainy Thursday. When I see urine I will think of the filth in my heart and I will remind myself that with the help of God, I can release it all and allow him to create in a me clean heart, one equipped to love, to serve, and to be filled with his divine peace.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Unplugged and Unpredictable
I've been away for awhile.
Our access to Internet was limited and also not completely chosen to be a part of our time away. I guess I was unplugged as they say.
I have things to share.
I often do.
Sadly, I write many posts and then choose not to publish them.
There are many reasons why I do that.
Sorry, not ready to share those here either.
So take me or leave me, the unpredictable blogger that I am.
Mostly I write to remember and to have an outlet to express myself.I know there are no rules about posting or not posting. No rules either about what I choose to sahre or not share.
I'll leave you with the rainbow chairs. I will share the warmth and hope of a pretty rainbow, even if it is man made.
If you take me, I'll be back soon. Have a sunshine day!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
God's Workshop
I am not a photographer. I want/need to learn skills to take better pictures because I know what is seen by my eyes and the camera doesn't capture that many times.
I am a deep thinker. Anyone who knows the me today would all agree. I know, I know, I wear my own self out.
Love me or leave me...this is where I am, who I am, and who I was created to be.
The rainbow was breathtaking. I couldn't stop staring at it for a long while. A double rainbow, even more rare.
The sunset was the most beautiful deep amber and pale blue. The marrying of day to night. A subtle blending of the two, but only for a brief moment. My camera didn't quite capture that, but I know what I saw. I know what I felt.
The heavens tell the glory of God,
and the skies announce what his hands have made.
Day after day they tell the story;
night after night they tell it again.
They have no speech or words;
they have no voice to be heard.
But their message goes out through all the world;
their words go everywhere on earth.
Psalms 19: 1-4
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Pasta and Fagioli Soup
I'm running...not very fast for sure, but my effort is good and that has to count for something. Not exercise running, sadly. I am still just giving lots of good effort to create peace, a normal routine, and lots of love in our house. We are seeing glimpses of normalcy within the walls of our house and that is a good thing.
I swapped meals last week and in the madness of the week forgot to post what I made. I was assigned beef this month. Truly, I don't care what kind of meal the other ladies bring, I am just grateful for the meal. I assume this is true of most of us but is does seem to help when the meat selections for the month are a bit varied.
I decided to love on my crock pot this month and make a meal for busy moms, just like me. The weather in our area has been cold, damp, and rainy often lately. So it was decided and settled that I would make a Pasta and Fagioli soup this month as my contribution to our swap. I for one, am really excited to have a hearty meal like this one waiting for us in our freezer on one of those chilly evenings this fall.
Click on the highlighted text if you are interested in the recipe. Hope you enjoy it too!
I swapped meals last week and in the madness of the week forgot to post what I made. I was assigned beef this month. Truly, I don't care what kind of meal the other ladies bring, I am just grateful for the meal. I assume this is true of most of us but is does seem to help when the meat selections for the month are a bit varied.
I decided to love on my crock pot this month and make a meal for busy moms, just like me. The weather in our area has been cold, damp, and rainy often lately. So it was decided and settled that I would make a Pasta and Fagioli soup this month as my contribution to our swap. I for one, am really excited to have a hearty meal like this one waiting for us in our freezer on one of those chilly evenings this fall.
Click on the highlighted text if you are interested in the recipe. Hope you enjoy it too!
Friday, September 16, 2011
It's Friday
It's Friday!!! Yeah!!!
New routines are so hard for our little guys, and who am I kidding for me too!I have been asleep before 10 on most nights this week which has been unheard of for me in the last three years. In my defense, I am getting up way earlier than in the past too!
I am feeling like I spend so much time in the car again running here to there and everywhere! I am finding peaceful moments listening to some quieter music in the car and finding that helps me a lot to unwind a bit. On one of the days when I wasn't listening to my quiet music, this song came on the radio and it just made me laugh. It made me laugh enough that I thought I would share the link so you could hear it again too! I'm sure most of you have heard it but it is a good one and worth hearing again!
I am still forgetting lots of things in my day to day travels. I am still adjusting to remembering to take everything that I need for a large chunk of my day all at once. I am working especially hard to give myself grace for the moment. I don't have to be perfect!!!
I really love to cook dinner so it has been an adjustment trying to remember that on most weekday nights we need quick and easy meals. On those nights, we eat at all different times due to the many activities that the kids are enjoying. Admittedly, not having that family dinner time really bothers me but for right now that just won't work for our family. One weekday night family dinner is the best that I am going to get and for now I will make the best of that! Last night I made a nice meal and even a homemade dessert. Today it makes me smile to reflect on that dinner and to be grateful for my meal swap friends (again). Lisa W. from our group made that meal that was served last night possible. It was so delicious and everyone enjoyed the food which is always a blessing! The dessert was over the top and all that I heard out of anyone's mouth was MMMMmmm. I'll post the recipe for the homemade pudding later. I only wish that we could have that kind of meal on Wednesdays, kind of like a sweet treat in the middle of the week to get us to the weekend. It was just nice to breathe and know that I had more wiggle room with the afternoon/evening schedule since I didn't have to race out the door to go anywhere.
Overall the week has been a little better than last week but we still have some kinks to work out yet. I am so glad that it is Friday and am really looking forward to what is shaping up to be a fun weekend!
New routines are so hard for our little guys, and who am I kidding for me too!I have been asleep before 10 on most nights this week which has been unheard of for me in the last three years. In my defense, I am getting up way earlier than in the past too!
I am feeling like I spend so much time in the car again running here to there and everywhere! I am finding peaceful moments listening to some quieter music in the car and finding that helps me a lot to unwind a bit. On one of the days when I wasn't listening to my quiet music, this song came on the radio and it just made me laugh. It made me laugh enough that I thought I would share the link so you could hear it again too! I'm sure most of you have heard it but it is a good one and worth hearing again!
I am still forgetting lots of things in my day to day travels. I am still adjusting to remembering to take everything that I need for a large chunk of my day all at once. I am working especially hard to give myself grace for the moment. I don't have to be perfect!!!
I really love to cook dinner so it has been an adjustment trying to remember that on most weekday nights we need quick and easy meals. On those nights, we eat at all different times due to the many activities that the kids are enjoying. Admittedly, not having that family dinner time really bothers me but for right now that just won't work for our family. One weekday night family dinner is the best that I am going to get and for now I will make the best of that! Last night I made a nice meal and even a homemade dessert. Today it makes me smile to reflect on that dinner and to be grateful for my meal swap friends (again). Lisa W. from our group made that meal that was served last night possible. It was so delicious and everyone enjoyed the food which is always a blessing! The dessert was over the top and all that I heard out of anyone's mouth was MMMMmmm. I'll post the recipe for the homemade pudding later. I only wish that we could have that kind of meal on Wednesdays, kind of like a sweet treat in the middle of the week to get us to the weekend. It was just nice to breathe and know that I had more wiggle room with the afternoon/evening schedule since I didn't have to race out the door to go anywhere.
Overall the week has been a little better than last week but we still have some kinks to work out yet. I am so glad that it is Friday and am really looking forward to what is shaping up to be a fun weekend!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Getting Adjusted
Life has been busy trying to acclimate to our new routines and schedules now that school is back in full swing and all of the extra curricular activities as well.
All is going well but it has been a little sticky along the way! I am hopeful that all will settle down in the next week or so. Our family doesn't do change all that well... Us highly sensitive people take longer than others to adjust to even minor things like sleep routines.
I forgot to mention one other thing last week that I love to use when I pack my kids lunches for school. I love to leave them little notes in their lunchboxes. I use them for encouragement, to remind them that I appreciate them and the hard work that are doing, and also JUST BECAUSE...I love them. My husband would be embarrassed if he knew that I was sharing this with you all, but I leave them in his lunch too!I have several different sets that I use and sometimes a little scrap piece of paper works too.
I'm sure there are tons of lunchbox notes readily available. They can be easily found on Etsy, Michaels,Hallmark, Barnes and Nobles, etc. I love the preprinted ones that are colorful and cute! They make my job so easy on a busy morning! These take only minutes to fill in and personalize. Here are some examples of the ones that we are currently using:
Lunchbox Love
Lunch Notes from Hallmark
And there are many more out there to find and use. Each note only takes a minute to write and hide in a lunchbox but the impact is huge! My kids saved many of their notes from years past and that tells me something! It matters when I take the time to show my love and encouragement to them!
A Giveaway! I have an extra set of this little notes to share with someone. If you are interested, leave me a comment. Winner will be announced on Friday!
All is going well but it has been a little sticky along the way! I am hopeful that all will settle down in the next week or so. Our family doesn't do change all that well... Us highly sensitive people take longer than others to adjust to even minor things like sleep routines.
I forgot to mention one other thing last week that I love to use when I pack my kids lunches for school. I love to leave them little notes in their lunchboxes. I use them for encouragement, to remind them that I appreciate them and the hard work that are doing, and also JUST BECAUSE...I love them. My husband would be embarrassed if he knew that I was sharing this with you all, but I leave them in his lunch too!I have several different sets that I use and sometimes a little scrap piece of paper works too.
I'm sure there are tons of lunchbox notes readily available. They can be easily found on Etsy, Michaels,Hallmark, Barnes and Nobles, etc. I love the preprinted ones that are colorful and cute! They make my job so easy on a busy morning! These take only minutes to fill in and personalize. Here are some examples of the ones that we are currently using:
Lunchbox Love
Lunch Notes from Hallmark
And there are many more out there to find and use. Each note only takes a minute to write and hide in a lunchbox but the impact is huge! My kids saved many of their notes from years past and that tells me something! It matters when I take the time to show my love and encouragement to them!
A Giveaway! I have an extra set of this little notes to share with someone. If you are interested, leave me a comment. Winner will be announced on Friday!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Back to School Lunch Edition
We've been gearing up for the first day of school for awhile now it seems. Doesn't that make perfect sense? I hurry up and get everything ready and then drag my feet and refuse to let go of summer. Yes, I know. I wear my own self out.
I'll share a few of my favorite Back to School things. I'll start with lunch stuff. Our kids pack a snack and a lunch four days a week during the school year. Hubby takes a lunch to work too. I prefer to pack what I can the night before to make the mornings a little less chaotic, so my nights get a little busy during the school year.
My kids each have a lunchbox from L.L.Bean. The older ones have had theirs for a few years now and they have held up year after year wonderfully. I have been known to throw them into the washing machine from time to time and they still look great for this school year. Our little guy just got a new one this year. Here's hoping his lasts just as long. They may have been a little more expensive than those in Target and Walmart but they sure have held up to the wear and tear of what we have put them through after several years.
A friend of mine and I researched last summer to find the perfect lunch system. We wanted to be more conscious of the environment and not create so much wasted trash. We were looking for a system that wasn't too expensive and one that did not have so many little containers and lids. Boy would that wear me out day after day washing all of those things. Alas, we found EasyLunchboxes.com. Go there now and check them out for yourself. They really are quite wonderful. They are inexpensive and they do hold up after many uses. Our set lasted the whole school year and even traveled with us this summer to the pool, the beach, and beyond. I did order new ones for this school year but at that price, I felt like they performed as expected and I was ready to make another purchase. I pack two of these containers for each of my kids most days of the week. I pack one for lunch and the other for their snack. They are color coded, so they know, and I know, who's is who's. I love the variety of the lunches that I can send to school with the help of these containers.
My kids also love hot soup and other warm leftovers like mac and cheese and pasta in the fall and winter. I have tested a few different thermos containers and have settled on this brand and style. It suits our needs well. The food really does stay hot through lunchtime and beyond.
Our kids are also required to have a plastic water bottle that they can have in the classroom. I found these at Target and have used this same style and brand for three years now. We buy one bottle and it lasts the whole school year in general. Last year we went through a phase where the kids kept leaving their water bottles behind at different sporting events and such which caused the need to buy several sets. I hope that doesn't happen again this year! These bottles help me keep track of every one's water intake each day. Staying hydrated is so important for many reasons.
We pack cloth napkins as often as we can to also cut down on unnecessary trash. I get really cheap ones that are not fancy at Target. I also love the colorful ones at Pier One. They are way more fun!
I also picked up the basket stand at Pier One this year. I was running out of counter space and needed a place for all of our lunchboxes! We'll see how this one works out.
The last thing that I can't say enough about is Mabels Labels. I love those things! I label our clothes, water bottles, shoes, backpacks, lunchboxes, and you name it with these labels and surprisingly the label stays on throughout the school year! They even stay on through the laundry and dish washing too!
That's what works for my family in terms of school supplies for lunches at school. You know it works best when we share information with one another right?. What do you think is super fabulous in terms of lunch supplies for your family? Please share...
I'll share a few of my favorite Back to School things. I'll start with lunch stuff. Our kids pack a snack and a lunch four days a week during the school year. Hubby takes a lunch to work too. I prefer to pack what I can the night before to make the mornings a little less chaotic, so my nights get a little busy during the school year.
My kids each have a lunchbox from L.L.Bean. The older ones have had theirs for a few years now and they have held up year after year wonderfully. I have been known to throw them into the washing machine from time to time and they still look great for this school year. Our little guy just got a new one this year. Here's hoping his lasts just as long. They may have been a little more expensive than those in Target and Walmart but they sure have held up to the wear and tear of what we have put them through after several years.
A friend of mine and I researched last summer to find the perfect lunch system. We wanted to be more conscious of the environment and not create so much wasted trash. We were looking for a system that wasn't too expensive and one that did not have so many little containers and lids. Boy would that wear me out day after day washing all of those things. Alas, we found EasyLunchboxes.com. Go there now and check them out for yourself. They really are quite wonderful. They are inexpensive and they do hold up after many uses. Our set lasted the whole school year and even traveled with us this summer to the pool, the beach, and beyond. I did order new ones for this school year but at that price, I felt like they performed as expected and I was ready to make another purchase. I pack two of these containers for each of my kids most days of the week. I pack one for lunch and the other for their snack. They are color coded, so they know, and I know, who's is who's. I love the variety of the lunches that I can send to school with the help of these containers.
My kids also love hot soup and other warm leftovers like mac and cheese and pasta in the fall and winter. I have tested a few different thermos containers and have settled on this brand and style. It suits our needs well. The food really does stay hot through lunchtime and beyond.
Our kids are also required to have a plastic water bottle that they can have in the classroom. I found these at Target and have used this same style and brand for three years now. We buy one bottle and it lasts the whole school year in general. Last year we went through a phase where the kids kept leaving their water bottles behind at different sporting events and such which caused the need to buy several sets. I hope that doesn't happen again this year! These bottles help me keep track of every one's water intake each day. Staying hydrated is so important for many reasons.
We pack cloth napkins as often as we can to also cut down on unnecessary trash. I get really cheap ones that are not fancy at Target. I also love the colorful ones at Pier One. They are way more fun!
I also picked up the basket stand at Pier One this year. I was running out of counter space and needed a place for all of our lunchboxes! We'll see how this one works out.
The last thing that I can't say enough about is Mabels Labels. I love those things! I label our clothes, water bottles, shoes, backpacks, lunchboxes, and you name it with these labels and surprisingly the label stays on throughout the school year! They even stay on through the laundry and dish washing too!
That's what works for my family in terms of school supplies for lunches at school. You know it works best when we share information with one another right?. What do you think is super fabulous in terms of lunch supplies for your family? Please share...
Monday, September 5, 2011
Picking Good Fruit and Memories Too
Our family enjoys picking our own fruit and vegetables at a farm not too far away from where we live. In the past we have picked apples, strawberries, pumpkins, peaches, and raspberries. This summer we picked peaches, blackberries, raspberries, apples, and potatoes. Each time we have gone to the farm we have enjoyed the peaceful tranquility of the lush green fields and forestation nearby and all around us.
Most recently, we went after Hurricane Irene had come through our state. I marveled at how many peaches were still on the trees in the orchard considering the wind that ripped through the area last week. As we walked through the orchard we did notice some visible damage to some of the trees but overall most of the trees remained in good condition. The experience proved to be another time to admire God's design of nature. Peaches by design are soft and bruise easily when they are ripened. Amazing how with that wind, these fragile peaches remained safely attached to their branches and sustained the wrath of the storm.
As usual, we left the farm with far more fruit than we can personally eat ourselves so we plan to share our abundance of yummy fruit and good harvest with others. IN that sharing, lies yet another gift.
We also left the farm with heart full of good memories and for that I am most grateful.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
September?
September? Can it really be here already? Summer sure flew by and I am dragging my feet to see it come to an end. I love summer once we get past the beginning of June. I feel good for the most part in the summer. There is much about the summer that makes me happy in general. This summer has brought some challenges which I will not share here, at least not now anyway. I've been working hard to keep my head above water more often than not this summer and so I do have a slight concern that I will be even more emotionally challenged as we move from summer into the fall. I have begun to wonder when I will not be emotionally challenged? I wonder how my experiences would leave a person anything otherwise?
Even I have noticed how I have avoided my usual sense of therapeutic writing here on this blog. I hide behind the busyness of summer and the in the fun things that I like to do with my family and friends. The work of grieving, well it waits for you. It waits for the quiet hours and it sneaks up you when you are least prepared. It is still ever present in my world.
School starts next week for our kids and that means we have only a few days left to soak up summer and cross things off of our summer list. Just looking at my calendar for the upcoming month makes me feel stressed and it hasn't even happened yet. Shew!And while I will admit to the happy thought of having a few hours in the day to get things done and perhaps to have a moment to catch my breath, I dread the quiet of when everyone else is gone from our home. My response...to get busy doing something.
So while I attempt to enjoy the last few days of summer before school starts, I am also digging my feet into the ground doing my best to avoid the parts of the next season that I don't like. I've learned that digging doesn't help and the hard days will come anyway...
The roller coaster ride that we have been on in the past has given us a new perspective and so I dare not to complain about the choices that we freely make to participate in such activities. For the most part, our involvement in various activities is voluntary, with good purpose, and God willing with good outcomes. Nothing like the events we once faced in the past. We are just a busy family and busy is good I guess, for now. Busy mode keeps my mind from wandering into thoughts I'd rather not think about.
I'm up to my ears in planning and scheduling while trying to remember how little control I really do have over many things in my life.
Even I have noticed how I have avoided my usual sense of therapeutic writing here on this blog. I hide behind the busyness of summer and the in the fun things that I like to do with my family and friends. The work of grieving, well it waits for you. It waits for the quiet hours and it sneaks up you when you are least prepared. It is still ever present in my world.
School starts next week for our kids and that means we have only a few days left to soak up summer and cross things off of our summer list. Just looking at my calendar for the upcoming month makes me feel stressed and it hasn't even happened yet. Shew!And while I will admit to the happy thought of having a few hours in the day to get things done and perhaps to have a moment to catch my breath, I dread the quiet of when everyone else is gone from our home. My response...to get busy doing something.
So while I attempt to enjoy the last few days of summer before school starts, I am also digging my feet into the ground doing my best to avoid the parts of the next season that I don't like. I've learned that digging doesn't help and the hard days will come anyway...
The roller coaster ride that we have been on in the past has given us a new perspective and so I dare not to complain about the choices that we freely make to participate in such activities. For the most part, our involvement in various activities is voluntary, with good purpose, and God willing with good outcomes. Nothing like the events we once faced in the past. We are just a busy family and busy is good I guess, for now. Busy mode keeps my mind from wandering into thoughts I'd rather not think about.
I'm up to my ears in planning and scheduling while trying to remember how little control I really do have over many things in my life.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Earthquakes, Hurricaines, and No Power, Oh My!
Wow. What a week! We began the week with an earthquake which is not typical for the area in which we live. There wasn't any damage to our home and we were not hurt but the kids were a little uncertain of what was going on since it was a new experience for them. Their understanding of earthquakes in general was formed after the earthquake in Japan this spring so their uneasiness was certainly understood.
We ended the week with a hurricane that produced heavy winds and ongoing rain. Weather reports throughout the storm were keeping everyone on their toes worried about possible flooding, widespread power outages, and likely other property damage due to heavy winds and downed trees. As the storm moved out of our area we felt blessed that we did not suffer any damages to our home and did not experience any flooding. We were however, left without power for a few days.
The week was humbling to say the least. It was yet another powerful reminder of how little control we have over so much in our lives. It reminded me of how quickly things can change from day to day and minute to minute. The weather events brought back front center the recognition that most tangible things really have little importance. Your priorities get in check and you begin to see what really matters.
The power outages reminded us of the many ways that folks pull together in a storm. There were memories created of family who brought us ice in a cooler to keep some perishable food and drinks safe and readily available, doughnuts, and their calming presence. This was key for the children to see that all was really ok. There were good friends who brought us additional ice, hot coffee (they know us all too well), and allowed us to borrow a working outlet in their house so we could cook a crock pot meal. There were neighbors who also shared their generator with us. This new found source of power allowed us to plug in our refrigerator which created a peace within my soul. I was afraid of losing all of my precious freezer meals that help to keep me sane during the weekday rush! Amen. In addition, neighbors who ventured out into the world by car were asking what others needed and a third sharing of hot coffee was discovered on my porch from yet another neighbor one early morning. Overall, it was nice to see more of our neighbors outside and this lack of power for a few days got people talking and helped to further that all too important sense of community that we all so desperately need in this world.
Since reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I have since kept up my list of things that I am grateful for each day. I find for me personally that keeping this list really helps me to slow down to see the simple blessings embedded within each day. I found myself listing many things during this storm. Being purposeful about gratitude did help me to remain more peaceful within this storm. Being purposeful about gratitude does cause a shift in negative thinking period.
I will end this post in hopes that this week is a little less eventful, weather wise anyway.
Side note...weather wise it was uneventful. It quite nice actually so far. Having a lack of power and scrmabling to enjoy those fleeting moments of summer, now that's a different story alltogether.
We ended the week with a hurricane that produced heavy winds and ongoing rain. Weather reports throughout the storm were keeping everyone on their toes worried about possible flooding, widespread power outages, and likely other property damage due to heavy winds and downed trees. As the storm moved out of our area we felt blessed that we did not suffer any damages to our home and did not experience any flooding. We were however, left without power for a few days.
The week was humbling to say the least. It was yet another powerful reminder of how little control we have over so much in our lives. It reminded me of how quickly things can change from day to day and minute to minute. The weather events brought back front center the recognition that most tangible things really have little importance. Your priorities get in check and you begin to see what really matters.
The power outages reminded us of the many ways that folks pull together in a storm. There were memories created of family who brought us ice in a cooler to keep some perishable food and drinks safe and readily available, doughnuts, and their calming presence. This was key for the children to see that all was really ok. There were good friends who brought us additional ice, hot coffee (they know us all too well), and allowed us to borrow a working outlet in their house so we could cook a crock pot meal. There were neighbors who also shared their generator with us. This new found source of power allowed us to plug in our refrigerator which created a peace within my soul. I was afraid of losing all of my precious freezer meals that help to keep me sane during the weekday rush! Amen. In addition, neighbors who ventured out into the world by car were asking what others needed and a third sharing of hot coffee was discovered on my porch from yet another neighbor one early morning. Overall, it was nice to see more of our neighbors outside and this lack of power for a few days got people talking and helped to further that all too important sense of community that we all so desperately need in this world.
Since reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I have since kept up my list of things that I am grateful for each day. I find for me personally that keeping this list really helps me to slow down to see the simple blessings embedded within each day. I found myself listing many things during this storm. Being purposeful about gratitude did help me to remain more peaceful within this storm. Being purposeful about gratitude does cause a shift in negative thinking period.
I will end this post in hopes that this week is a little less eventful, weather wise anyway.
Side note...weather wise it was uneventful. It quite nice actually so far. Having a lack of power and scrmabling to enjoy those fleeting moments of summer, now that's a different story alltogether.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Yard Sale
It all started with a night out to our local favorite ice cream stand. That night a Summer List was created. That night it seemed as if we had endless nights of summer ahead, only now, they are all too soon slipping away. A Yard Sale and a Lemonade Stand were added to our list.
In June we read a really great family read aloud, The Lemonade War by Jacqueline Davies I think. Great book. All the while we enjoyed each and every page, the desire to have a lemonade stand grew even stronger.
We have a foundation set up in Jeremy's memory and so the children have been a very active part of that since it's origination. They all agreed to sell their toys and belongings of no longer use to them, to benefit the rays of Sunshine Foundation.
Can this be any sweeter?
The excitement is brewing as tomorrow is the big day! Wish us luck! I know no matter the outcome that a memory will be made in the hearts of three very special children. Grandparents have also stepped up to assist in their experience of the day and to encourage them along the way.
Tonight we were setting up and pricing things and then all of the sudden time stood still. I became lost in the memories of these treasured toys and the good memories attached to them. We send them on to the next owner with much love but I can't help the sad feelings that have invaded my soul unexpectedly. There are even funny visions of Toy Story running through my mind with our favorite toys panicking that they are being sold in a Yard Sale. Truth be told, we just don't have room for all this stuff and the new stuff that creeps in too! I worry that we will sell something that I may regret later on in life. I am just not super attached to things of this world anymore, the memory, yes, the stuff, no. I just hope I don't regret the purge. I do save a few extra special things and I hope that is sufficient as they all grow.
I am stunned that I have become so emotional about this tonight. Can anyone relate?
It seems as though we are moving and sifting out of the little kid stage so fast and I just wasn't ready nor I am feeling all that prepared for what's ahead. In fact the whole next step seems a little scary.
In June we read a really great family read aloud, The Lemonade War by Jacqueline Davies I think. Great book. All the while we enjoyed each and every page, the desire to have a lemonade stand grew even stronger.
We have a foundation set up in Jeremy's memory and so the children have been a very active part of that since it's origination. They all agreed to sell their toys and belongings of no longer use to them, to benefit the rays of Sunshine Foundation.
Can this be any sweeter?
The excitement is brewing as tomorrow is the big day! Wish us luck! I know no matter the outcome that a memory will be made in the hearts of three very special children. Grandparents have also stepped up to assist in their experience of the day and to encourage them along the way.
Tonight we were setting up and pricing things and then all of the sudden time stood still. I became lost in the memories of these treasured toys and the good memories attached to them. We send them on to the next owner with much love but I can't help the sad feelings that have invaded my soul unexpectedly. There are even funny visions of Toy Story running through my mind with our favorite toys panicking that they are being sold in a Yard Sale. Truth be told, we just don't have room for all this stuff and the new stuff that creeps in too! I worry that we will sell something that I may regret later on in life. I am just not super attached to things of this world anymore, the memory, yes, the stuff, no. I just hope I don't regret the purge. I do save a few extra special things and I hope that is sufficient as they all grow.
I am stunned that I have become so emotional about this tonight. Can anyone relate?
It seems as though we are moving and sifting out of the little kid stage so fast and I just wasn't ready nor I am feeling all that prepared for what's ahead. In fact the whole next step seems a little scary.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Fall Schedule
Our slow crawl into fall started yesterday. Our oldest is playing fall baseball and his first practice was last night. I couldn't help but to sigh with mixed emotion.
Sigh of happiness...
what a beautiful evening it was last night
my son loves baseball
what a great night to play baseball
great times are ahead watching him play ball
the structure and routine of what the school year brings, in most ways this structure and routine are good things
Sigh of letting go of summer...
summer is winding down
the busy fall schedule is upon us, not ahead, but here now
each week from here on out we will be adding to our schedule
it's going to get really busy
gone are the lazy days of summer and the lack of a busy schedule
gone will be the impromtu activities for the most part
I find myself sighing even as I write this post. Here comes fall!
Sigh of happiness...
what a beautiful evening it was last night
my son loves baseball
what a great night to play baseball
great times are ahead watching him play ball
the structure and routine of what the school year brings, in most ways this structure and routine are good things
Sigh of letting go of summer...
summer is winding down
the busy fall schedule is upon us, not ahead, but here now
each week from here on out we will be adding to our schedule
it's going to get really busy
gone are the lazy days of summer and the lack of a busy schedule
gone will be the impromtu activities for the most part
I find myself sighing even as I write this post. Here comes fall!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Fun at the Fair
What a beautiful day! We got some boring errands out of the way early in the morning and then packed our lunches and headed to the pool! We came home, took a quick shower, then headed out to the fair.
We have our things to do at the fair...
Fresh squeezed lemonade with the colorful straws
Pit beef sandwiches
French Fries from the High School Booster Club
see the animals
check out the cool stuff in the 4H tents
play a few games
listen to the music
funnel cakes/fried dough
a ride on the merry go round, not sure if the kids will love me or hate me for this as the years pass
We love supporting the local schools, fireman associations, and places like the Lions club rather than the general fair set ups.
We left just as the major crowds were pouring in. We left watching the most beautiful sunset cast upon the farmland sky. You could almost catch the peace in your hands. You know those moments when time stands still for a brief second?
We left with smiles on our faces which quickly turned to solemn faces as we approached the cemetery. It is just not possible to be that close and to drive past Jeremy's grave. We are so grateful for the beautiful place where he is buried. It is so peaceful there...It is also hard to go from one extreme to another. Reality stares us in the face when we approach Jeremy's grave. A life that ended too soon for our standards, a life that was remarkable in it's entirety, a life that was treasured and loved so deeply, a life that continues to live on in many ways, a life that is simply stated, profoundly missed! We are a broken family. While we were there we discovered some major damage to Jeremy's headstone which I will need to call about next week. It was disturbing to see, but, none the less, caused most likely by accident.It happens... hopefully it will be fixed without a headache.
Miss that sweet boy and his presence in our everyday lives. Miss him everyday but especially when we are just living life to it's fullest potential and we feel that hole and our brokenness front and center. Missed him at the fair, missed him at bedtime, just miss him all the darn time.
I can only imagine that heaven is way better than a fair all the time!
I remember the amazing experience that I had at the fair last year. Thinking about it just filled me with an abundance of love this week. It has been a tougher time lately, but then again, I expected it to be so...
Bittersweet ending to a sweet day...
Grace
Grace was abundant yesterday.
It was found in the sunflowers that were wallpapered all over the hospital wall.
It was found in the multiple sunshines that were found in various places throughout our time there.
It was found in the tissues that I had to deliver to the PICU thanks to some recent and generous donations. This gave me a purpose and a grounding, if you will to reality. This renewed purpose helped to loosen the grip that fear was holding tightly over me.
Grace came when we visited the respite house that I hold near and dear to my heart and we were greeted with friendly faces with warm smiles and hugs. We had a donation to make there as well and so that was also a grounding experience as well.
I love being there, as a volunteer, that is.
Grace was found when an offer was made to help unload our car.
It was found in the beautiful Black Eyed Susans bouquet that we brought for the respite house.
Grace was found in the encouraging text messages from friends knowing my journey back there as a patient would emotionally be hard for me.
Grace came when the parking was generously made easy for me...
Grace was found in the babysitting for my other kids...
Grace was found in the beautiful weather with storybook picture clouds painted in the sky. It looked a Disney movie backdrop up in the sky yesterday.
It was found when I could use strategies learned in therapy to distance my mind from where it wanted to travel back in time.
Grace for the moment. It was waiting around each corner of the day. I did it. It wasn't easy but the day is behind me and I am ok. Jeremy is ok. My thirdling is ok. Nothing bad happened yesterday.
It was found in the sunflowers that were wallpapered all over the hospital wall.
It was found in the multiple sunshines that were found in various places throughout our time there.
It was found in the tissues that I had to deliver to the PICU thanks to some recent and generous donations. This gave me a purpose and a grounding, if you will to reality. This renewed purpose helped to loosen the grip that fear was holding tightly over me.
Grace came when we visited the respite house that I hold near and dear to my heart and we were greeted with friendly faces with warm smiles and hugs. We had a donation to make there as well and so that was also a grounding experience as well.
I love being there, as a volunteer, that is.
Grace was found when an offer was made to help unload our car.
It was found in the beautiful Black Eyed Susans bouquet that we brought for the respite house.
Grace was found in the encouraging text messages from friends knowing my journey back there as a patient would emotionally be hard for me.
Grace came when the parking was generously made easy for me...
Grace was found in the babysitting for my other kids...
Grace was found in the beautiful weather with storybook picture clouds painted in the sky. It looked a Disney movie backdrop up in the sky yesterday.
It was found when I could use strategies learned in therapy to distance my mind from where it wanted to travel back in time.
Grace for the moment. It was waiting around each corner of the day. I did it. It wasn't easy but the day is behind me and I am ok. Jeremy is ok. My thirdling is ok. Nothing bad happened yesterday.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
When You Lose Something You Cannot Replace
Tears stream down your face when you lose something that you cannot replace...the lyrics to a song playing into my ears that penetrates my soul...
Spent the day at the very hospital today where I was asked to walk away from my son for the last time on earth today...Why can't I get every last detail of the door frame out of my mind????
same doctors...
same clinic ...
He answered..
Same doctors, same clinic, different child Amy... Nothing bad is happening to Jeremy today sweet child. I have him. I have him sweet child of mine. He is healed. He is safe in the comfort of my arms. Jeremy is here give your energy to the other...
BREATHE
There are no rules...
no expected reactions or behaviors...not textbook people
raw emotion
that's what drives people like me each and every day.
grace for the moment
that it is all I can petition
reaction to REAL LIFE...
Spent the day at the very hospital today where I was asked to walk away from my son for the last time on earth today...Why can't I get every last detail of the door frame out of my mind????
same doctors...
same clinic ...
He answered..
Same doctors, same clinic, different child Amy... Nothing bad is happening to Jeremy today sweet child. I have him. I have him sweet child of mine. He is healed. He is safe in the comfort of my arms. Jeremy is here give your energy to the other...
BREATHE
There are no rules...
no expected reactions or behaviors...not textbook people
raw emotion
that's what drives people like me each and every day.
grace for the moment
that it is all I can petition
reaction to REAL LIFE...
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Someday I'm Gonna Miss This
There are a few sets of hands to help around the house.
There are few of hearts to mold and to teach about the ways of the world.
Simple tasks like refilling the toilet paper supply in the bathroom quickly become interesting. I'm sure the five star hotels would have a higher standard but I will try to overlook my instinctual perfectionist ways and take a moment to cherish these little nooks and crannies of evidence left behind by the little hands in our house.
These things will all too soon pass me by and I will miss these moments that make me smile.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Dilemna
I put several books on hold at our local library all at the same time assuming that they would stagger in and I would actually have time to read them.
I must have been dreaming...
They all came in at once and I haven't had a chance to read most of them. I am actually still reading Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet. I am enjoying the book just lacking the stillness I desire and crave to read it. There hasn't been much down time around here...
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Don't Judge a Book by It's Cover
The surface is shallow.
Surface thoughts are surface thoughts and that's all.
Things can be very deceiving when you only look at the surface, what someone presents to you, the cover if you will.
But chances are, things run far deeper than you might have ever imagined.
I challenge you to do more than respond to the surface and what appears to bubble to the surface.
What? How?
Look beyond the surface and love others with conviction.
Live your life and love deeply those that matter to you.
Even more than that, love those that maybe you don't know, and even your enemies.
Respond to life and folks with LOVE.
That's all.
It will never steer you wrong.
People aren't what they seem.
Most hide their pain and suffer in silence.
They pretend to be what others expect them to be.
Be the change and allow those in your presence to be real,to be authentic,and to be who they are. Love them for it. You do not walk in their shoes so be careful not to judge, just love them. It really is that simple. Chances are you are not who you seem to be either.
Love is where you will meet fellow mankind in the middle, you know where it is real.
Surface thoughts are surface thoughts and that's all.
Things can be very deceiving when you only look at the surface, what someone presents to you, the cover if you will.
But chances are, things run far deeper than you might have ever imagined.
I challenge you to do more than respond to the surface and what appears to bubble to the surface.
What? How?
Look beyond the surface and love others with conviction.
Live your life and love deeply those that matter to you.
Even more than that, love those that maybe you don't know, and even your enemies.
Respond to life and folks with LOVE.
That's all.
It will never steer you wrong.
People aren't what they seem.
Most hide their pain and suffer in silence.
They pretend to be what others expect them to be.
Be the change and allow those in your presence to be real,to be authentic,and to be who they are. Love them for it. You do not walk in their shoes so be careful not to judge, just love them. It really is that simple. Chances are you are not who you seem to be either.
Love is where you will meet fellow mankind in the middle, you know where it is real.
Pepsi Refresh July
Today is the last day to vote for the Pepsi Refresh project this month.
A dear friend has entered to receive on the $5000 grants to provide Pillow Pets for the Pediatric Units at our local hospital this holiday season. She could really use the votes to secure this funding. Could you take a moment, register with Pepsi, and vote? Go to the category where it lists the ideas for $5000 and it is listed under Pillow Pets for Pediatrics. It's free and I promise you it will only take a few minutes of your time. Once registered, you do not recieve a ton of spam e-mail either. I can tell you this vote will make a difference in the lives of so many kids this holiday season. You can also vote for up to four more wonderful ideas that folks have out there for grant funding. Thank you. Thank you.
A dear friend has entered to receive on the $5000 grants to provide Pillow Pets for the Pediatric Units at our local hospital this holiday season. She could really use the votes to secure this funding. Could you take a moment, register with Pepsi, and vote? Go to the category where it lists the ideas for $5000 and it is listed under Pillow Pets for Pediatrics. It's free and I promise you it will only take a few minutes of your time. Once registered, you do not recieve a ton of spam e-mail either. I can tell you this vote will make a difference in the lives of so many kids this holiday season. You can also vote for up to four more wonderful ideas that folks have out there for grant funding. Thank you. Thank you.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
It's Over
The summer swim season is officially over!
We swam our final meet of the year today and gathered this evening at the pool for the annual swim team party, awards night, and sleepover.
We couldn't be more proud of our swimmers!
We had a great season, lots of improvement, and memories with smiles to last forever!
Monday morning may just be a lazy one...finally! I wonder how quiet the pool will be this week?
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Water Up My Nose
I got some fun pictures of the kids in the pool yesterday but I also got water up my nose. I haven't had water up my nose in years! It was a fun day and it felt good to finally be able to enjoy the outside activities without the scortching heat!
Honey Pecan Pork Cutlets
Our monthly meal swap met last week. We feasted on an assortment of chocolate covered goodies while we got to meet the newest member of the host's family and caught up with the goings on of each of our lives. I realized many of these women have been a part of my life for a very long time. I value each of them and their friendship even more than the meals, but hey, those are really nice too!
The fall is quickly approaching and busy times with various school schedules and other activities. A meal swap is a great way to get a variety of meals in your freezer that make that dinner hour rush just a bit easier for Mom. Having these meals in my freezer has really made my life easier and more delicious. I love this swap and I encourage you to consider starting one if you think that it might be of interest to you.
Here's the recipe from this month that I made. Honey Pecan Pork Cutlets sounded so yummy and this recipe screamed out for a side of sweet potatoes, but that's just me. My oven is still not working properly so I decided to go with a skillet meal. It also comes in handy on the HOT days when you wouldn't want to turn on your oven. Hope you like it!
The fall is quickly approaching and busy times with various school schedules and other activities. A meal swap is a great way to get a variety of meals in your freezer that make that dinner hour rush just a bit easier for Mom. Having these meals in my freezer has really made my life easier and more delicious. I love this swap and I encourage you to consider starting one if you think that it might be of interest to you.
Here's the recipe from this month that I made. Honey Pecan Pork Cutlets sounded so yummy and this recipe screamed out for a side of sweet potatoes, but that's just me. My oven is still not working properly so I decided to go with a skillet meal. It also comes in handy on the HOT days when you wouldn't want to turn on your oven. Hope you like it!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
DEALS
In the past I have been a make a list of what we need kind of shopper. If I have a coupon for that item, great, if not, that's okay too, we still need it and I have made the purchase. I have used my bonus card at select stores and also tried to purchase items that were on sale. I did give some effort to saving money but only if it was convenient.
The fact remains that I still spend more money than I would like to spend each week on grocery and household items. There is always the gifts for parties, items for the school functions, scouts, and the endless amount of incidentals. I'll do great at the grocery store and then the opportunity will present itself to make a Costco run and drop a significant chunk of change there too for items that we will need in the near future. The I don't feel so good about sticking to a budget but I feel like I purchased items that we do use and the purchase was made at a time that was convenient.
I have tried to be a little more willing to steer away from the brand name of some items but we all have items that we are brand specific,like Heinz ketchup for example.
For the last two weeks I have tried something new. I have switched gears. I have been shopping using the local sale circulars and coupons from a variety of stores. I have been buying only items that we usually use,when they are on sale,and using coupons, hence hopefully saving more money in the long run.
In the short run, I am not sure this is working. I am really not sure whether I am saving money? I have spent the same amount of money as I usually do for the last two weeks. I am feeling slightly uncomfortable buying quantities of select items when I don't really need them. I am really projecting what we will need or might need in the near future. I am building a small stockpile of these items in my pantry. Take for example the three bottles of dish soap that was purchased this week when I don't need dish soap right now. However, the mind set is that when I do need dish soap, I will have purchased it at a better price and therefore saved more money in the long run. So for the past two weeks I have purchased many items that we will use and will need, but just not right now. I haven't figured out if I like shopping this way or not yet. Despite my angst, I do admit to the excitement that I feel when I have snagged items for free or at a really good price! Trust me, my shopping experiences look nothing like the Extreme Couponing show, but none the less, I do think I am getting a better price on many items than I normally would. I have no intention of building a large stockpile, just a small one of only things that we would typically use. Some of the other good deals I have found have gone to support several local charities.
I need your help. Do you shop this way? If so, what advice might you have for someone new to this method of shopping? Is there a universal more organized way to tell if the Safeway sale price with a coupon is still better than the Walgreens sale with a coupon price? It feels like a deal while you are in the store but only in comparison tot he regular price of that item in that specific store. When you walk out the door you just might realize that there could have been a better price elsewhere. I have no intention of running to a million stores each week in search of the best prices. There is something to be said for my sanity although I don't want to give away our money either. I also don't have nor want to spend countless hours each week cutting coupons and preparing for a shopping trip. I am willing to invest a small amount of time. I just want to find an easy, efficient, and organized way to work at this method of shopping. I am wondering if there are stores that are just universally known for having the best prices? Any advice that folks could give me would be appreciated.
The fact remains that I still spend more money than I would like to spend each week on grocery and household items. There is always the gifts for parties, items for the school functions, scouts, and the endless amount of incidentals. I'll do great at the grocery store and then the opportunity will present itself to make a Costco run and drop a significant chunk of change there too for items that we will need in the near future. The I don't feel so good about sticking to a budget but I feel like I purchased items that we do use and the purchase was made at a time that was convenient.
I have tried to be a little more willing to steer away from the brand name of some items but we all have items that we are brand specific,like Heinz ketchup for example.
For the last two weeks I have tried something new. I have switched gears. I have been shopping using the local sale circulars and coupons from a variety of stores. I have been buying only items that we usually use,when they are on sale,and using coupons, hence hopefully saving more money in the long run.
In the short run, I am not sure this is working. I am really not sure whether I am saving money? I have spent the same amount of money as I usually do for the last two weeks. I am feeling slightly uncomfortable buying quantities of select items when I don't really need them. I am really projecting what we will need or might need in the near future. I am building a small stockpile of these items in my pantry. Take for example the three bottles of dish soap that was purchased this week when I don't need dish soap right now. However, the mind set is that when I do need dish soap, I will have purchased it at a better price and therefore saved more money in the long run. So for the past two weeks I have purchased many items that we will use and will need, but just not right now. I haven't figured out if I like shopping this way or not yet. Despite my angst, I do admit to the excitement that I feel when I have snagged items for free or at a really good price! Trust me, my shopping experiences look nothing like the Extreme Couponing show, but none the less, I do think I am getting a better price on many items than I normally would. I have no intention of building a large stockpile, just a small one of only things that we would typically use. Some of the other good deals I have found have gone to support several local charities.
I need your help. Do you shop this way? If so, what advice might you have for someone new to this method of shopping? Is there a universal more organized way to tell if the Safeway sale price with a coupon is still better than the Walgreens sale with a coupon price? It feels like a deal while you are in the store but only in comparison tot he regular price of that item in that specific store. When you walk out the door you just might realize that there could have been a better price elsewhere. I have no intention of running to a million stores each week in search of the best prices. There is something to be said for my sanity although I don't want to give away our money either. I also don't have nor want to spend countless hours each week cutting coupons and preparing for a shopping trip. I am willing to invest a small amount of time. I just want to find an easy, efficient, and organized way to work at this method of shopping. I am wondering if there are stores that are just universally known for having the best prices? Any advice that folks could give me would be appreciated.
Monday, July 18, 2011
A New Style
My sweet daughter spent her "give" money at Walmart buying tissues.
We found the cutest new style of tissues from Kleenex.
Stylish and soft. I love them!
I am sporting a pack in my purse as well.
Our tissue shelf is ready to be restocked. Thanks to those who are faithful supporters of this aspect of our foundation. Each and every pack goes a long way to help the response to life circumstances be a little more gentle to hurting hearts in the PICU.
I am Grateful. I am grateful for the opportunity to do something that is so meaningful in the lives of others and that heals my heart all at the same time.
I can't change the circumstances that are present in lives of many but I can love them as they walk their journey. That love, yes, it does make a difference, a big difference! That love, well, it was inspired by YOU, at the very time in my life when I needed that love to get throught the 70 worst days of my life.
Will you join me?
If there is someone on your heart tonight that is hurting and facing a difficult time, will you join me in prayer for them and then act on that love. Will you choose some way to show that person that your heart is thinking of them?
Send the email.
Send a card.
Leave an encouraging message.
Give a hug. No words are needed. The human heart feels love and does not NEED words.
etc.
Trust me it will make a difference, to them and YOU!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
A Swimmingly Good Time
Our family is having a super time on the Swim team again this summer! We have three swimmers registered for the team, two consistently participating, and one who is not too sure of swimming, but eagerly cheers for his siblings and teammates! We even look above for one more to help direct a straight path while swimming backstroke. We were just completely immersed in the good time to be had by our family today. Lost in the moment if you will.
There is little that I can do to change the circumstances that threaten to eat away at my soul. Today, I found the strength to respond with love and then to embrace the good that is mine today and to dare not, take it for granted. I practice what I preach my friends. I loved those near and dear to me harder and longer today. I read that one more story. I indulged their requests of my time, I took time to encourage the rooting of my gratitude for the many blessings that are gifted to me today. I prayed over that which is not in my control. I enjoyed the miracle of today but kept perspective that, not all, are able to enjoy what is mine today. My heart paused many times throughout the day to pray and to be cognisant of the suffering hearts of this world. This place leads me to the moments where the true gifts of this world can be found. The very place that can be so deep, where others are afraid to enter, where I think too much, where life is too loud at times, where it keeps me awake at night by the light of the moon desperately trying to figure it all out, where it is lonely and a place of great solitude, that place, that is where I have also found the blessings of life that just might have passed me by otherwise. My eyes are wide open and my heart well, that just follows right along! Love me or leave me, this is who I have become.
Grateful.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Cover Me
Scroll down to the music player. Find Cover Me by Bebo Norman, I promise it will bless your day.
It is quite an intimate song...
This song is just what I needed today. It is what I needed to hear many times over in fact!
This world is too much for my fragile heart that sinks to some very deep places that I cannot get myself out of alone. I am still struggling to learn that I am NOT expected to understand, fix, and figure things all out on my own.
Cover Me- Bebo Norman
Cover me, cover up my tears
Cover up this man who's covered up in fear
I need a peace of mind, I need a piece of you
To cover all that's gone and everything that's new
You unveil me with your mercy
I want to breathe you in
You unfold me, then you hold me
Cover up my heart, cover up my soul
Cover up this world and everything I know
You cover up the sky, you cover up the sea
Cover up the mountains and every part of me
Everything single breath I breathe...cover me
I am still alive and covered up in years
Covered up in lines as innocence appears
So give me a peace of mind, give me a piece of you
To cover all that's old with everything that's new
You unveil me with your mercy
I want to breathe you in
And you unfold me, then you hold me
You unveil me with your mercy
I want to breathe you in
You unfold me then you hold me
I want to shed this skin
You unveil me with your mercy
You unfold me, then you hold me
You unbreak me, would you take me home
Cover up my heart, cover up my soul
Cover up this world and everything I know
You cover up the sky, you cover up the sea
Cover up the mountains and every part of me
Everything single breath I breathe...cover me
I will go for now. I will not make attempts to speak words from my heart tonight.
I will pray to be covered by Him under this beautiful moon. I will pray for His peace to transcend to my weary soul.
I will unfold to Him and seek comfort in His embrace.
It is quite an intimate song...
This song is just what I needed today. It is what I needed to hear many times over in fact!
This world is too much for my fragile heart that sinks to some very deep places that I cannot get myself out of alone. I am still struggling to learn that I am NOT expected to understand, fix, and figure things all out on my own.
Cover Me- Bebo Norman
Cover me, cover up my tears
Cover up this man who's covered up in fear
I need a peace of mind, I need a piece of you
To cover all that's gone and everything that's new
You unveil me with your mercy
I want to breathe you in
You unfold me, then you hold me
Cover up my heart, cover up my soul
Cover up this world and everything I know
You cover up the sky, you cover up the sea
Cover up the mountains and every part of me
Everything single breath I breathe...cover me
I am still alive and covered up in years
Covered up in lines as innocence appears
So give me a peace of mind, give me a piece of you
To cover all that's old with everything that's new
You unveil me with your mercy
I want to breathe you in
And you unfold me, then you hold me
You unveil me with your mercy
I want to breathe you in
You unfold me then you hold me
I want to shed this skin
You unveil me with your mercy
You unfold me, then you hold me
You unbreak me, would you take me home
Cover up my heart, cover up my soul
Cover up this world and everything I know
You cover up the sky, you cover up the sea
Cover up the mountains and every part of me
Everything single breath I breathe...cover me
I will go for now. I will not make attempts to speak words from my heart tonight.
I will pray to be covered by Him under this beautiful moon. I will pray for His peace to transcend to my weary soul.
I will unfold to Him and seek comfort in His embrace.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Angel Mail #18
Dear Jeremy,
Hi! Oh, how your Mama misses you! To this day I long for your presence in my arms! Today, I find myself to be like you, the baby, longing to be rocked in my Father's arms, searching for the comfort from the pain of this world and losing you. It has been three years since I last held you in my arms. Three years, yet it seems like yesterday. Time is relative to me, something that no longer makes any sense to me or moves as expected. I am scattered into many years of the present and also of today. There are so many days where I just feel so lost...I feel like I have gained so many valuable lessons in life after what we we have been through together, yet to this day, I also at the same time feel as though I can barely survive the everyday moments without you.
Mama has been doing battle with her soul and trying to do what is considered right within the world of today. The pain eats me alive and yet I don't want to be defined by that pain. I know you wouldn't want me to be that way and so I continue to forge ahead into new places without you, but all the while, know that I am forever changed by you and the life experience that we shared. You are part of me forever...I wouldn't be the person that I am today without you and yet there is little that I can love about myself because it all largely came at the cost of losing you in this world. The very thought of you, the suffering that you endured, those moments where we were kept from the expected newborn baby and family path, the continued abandonment of the life that I wanted and planned for, ALL OF IT, it is all profoundly responsible for keeping me from completely unraveling...or am I?
There are moments embedded within each and every single day where I am in utter amazement at each and every one of your siblings. I get lost in my love for them. They are each unique, special, and a blessing to me and to this world in their own individual ways. Then it comes, it ALWAYS comes, the WHO, WHAT, WHERE, And HOW questions, they always come. What IF you were here? What if you didn't go to heaven? What If life had gone the way I had hoped and planned? Who would I be? What would our life look like? In what ways would our family be so very different? What would I be feeling? I trust by now that all of those questions are answered for you and it all makes perfect sense to you by now. Oh, how how I long for that knowledge and understanding to transcend to me.
After all, my life, it really isn't mine. It belongs to God, it always has and it always will. He is there when each and every tear that falls from my eye, He is there to fill me in places where the world just can't, He is there to show me love and peace...He offered me His detour, His perfect plan and will for my life and for Yours. Who am I to question His authority? Why do I fight His will with my own ideas and plans? Why can't I just fully DWELL in His will for my life??? I want to, I want to with all that I am. I am working so hard, so painfully hard at this pruning cycle, all the while keeping my eyes fixed upon the cross knowing full well that there is purpose in the pain and good fruit to bear sometime soon. There is good and there IS joy embedded right beside my grief while I get to the everyday work that is asked of me and while I am shedding the tears of grief and pain.
I can only imagine what heaven must be like...if you even think of me, know that every cell of me remembers you. I remember it all, the good, the bad, and even the moments most would want to forget. I remember most of all, what you have taught me and what you continue to stretch me to become each and every day! There are surely rough waters left to navigate, but as good ole' Garth sings, "with the Lord as my captain, I can make it through them all." One day we will be reunited and I look forward to that moment more than words can say.
Until then...
I send my love to You on Angel's Wings,
Mama
Hi! Oh, how your Mama misses you! To this day I long for your presence in my arms! Today, I find myself to be like you, the baby, longing to be rocked in my Father's arms, searching for the comfort from the pain of this world and losing you. It has been three years since I last held you in my arms. Three years, yet it seems like yesterday. Time is relative to me, something that no longer makes any sense to me or moves as expected. I am scattered into many years of the present and also of today. There are so many days where I just feel so lost...I feel like I have gained so many valuable lessons in life after what we we have been through together, yet to this day, I also at the same time feel as though I can barely survive the everyday moments without you.
Mama has been doing battle with her soul and trying to do what is considered right within the world of today. The pain eats me alive and yet I don't want to be defined by that pain. I know you wouldn't want me to be that way and so I continue to forge ahead into new places without you, but all the while, know that I am forever changed by you and the life experience that we shared. You are part of me forever...I wouldn't be the person that I am today without you and yet there is little that I can love about myself because it all largely came at the cost of losing you in this world. The very thought of you, the suffering that you endured, those moments where we were kept from the expected newborn baby and family path, the continued abandonment of the life that I wanted and planned for, ALL OF IT, it is all profoundly responsible for keeping me from completely unraveling...or am I?
There are moments embedded within each and every single day where I am in utter amazement at each and every one of your siblings. I get lost in my love for them. They are each unique, special, and a blessing to me and to this world in their own individual ways. Then it comes, it ALWAYS comes, the WHO, WHAT, WHERE, And HOW questions, they always come. What IF you were here? What if you didn't go to heaven? What If life had gone the way I had hoped and planned? Who would I be? What would our life look like? In what ways would our family be so very different? What would I be feeling? I trust by now that all of those questions are answered for you and it all makes perfect sense to you by now. Oh, how how I long for that knowledge and understanding to transcend to me.
After all, my life, it really isn't mine. It belongs to God, it always has and it always will. He is there when each and every tear that falls from my eye, He is there to fill me in places where the world just can't, He is there to show me love and peace...He offered me His detour, His perfect plan and will for my life and for Yours. Who am I to question His authority? Why do I fight His will with my own ideas and plans? Why can't I just fully DWELL in His will for my life??? I want to, I want to with all that I am. I am working so hard, so painfully hard at this pruning cycle, all the while keeping my eyes fixed upon the cross knowing full well that there is purpose in the pain and good fruit to bear sometime soon. There is good and there IS joy embedded right beside my grief while I get to the everyday work that is asked of me and while I am shedding the tears of grief and pain.
I can only imagine what heaven must be like...if you even think of me, know that every cell of me remembers you. I remember it all, the good, the bad, and even the moments most would want to forget. I remember most of all, what you have taught me and what you continue to stretch me to become each and every day! There are surely rough waters left to navigate, but as good ole' Garth sings, "with the Lord as my captain, I can make it through them all." One day we will be reunited and I look forward to that moment more than words can say.
Until then...
I send my love to You on Angel's Wings,
Mama
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